Central America - Guatemala

At the unholy time of 5am I caught the bus which would take me to the Guatemala border. There were a few other Gringo's on the minibus:Jess and Rob (nice English couple), Alaskan and Mexican wife, Suengmi (Korean girl traveling alone). After a quick chat with the driver and for the total cost of $30 (including all sneaky border taxes, then motor boat across to no mans, Guatemala border crossing and then Flores).

Both border crossings went smoothly enough and the boat trip along the river was pretty exciting and lasted 30 min's. Throughout the trip I was a bit nervous about robberies in Guatemala but it was all cool. I now have new money to get used to, the Guate Quetzals (7Q to the $1). Flores is a really beautiful tiny island on a lake with cobbled streets. Plenty to do here; swimming, hire canoes, walk around the old cobbled streets and good cheap food. Have noticed the people are allot friendlier in Guate than in Mexico.

The Mexicans are friendly in general but have a big chip on their shoulders against Americans and I think that's always in the back of their minds. When they say good morning and hello to the Guate people they actually mean it. The bus driver took us to a fairly cheap hotel ($11). Shared room with Seungmi to cut costs etc. She's a really nice girl and laughs all the time.

Went for a really refreshing swim with Seungmi (Water = Rowley swimming as usual) just before sunset and a nice relaxing dinner with the English couple and Seungmi. Tomorrow at the God awful time of 3.30 I have booked a tour to see the great Tikal ruins (tours are always advised because of armed robberies on the road. Hope I can get up.

Managed to get up on time and got the bus for the 1.5 hour journey. Arrived in pitch black and walked for an hour (so stupid I forgot my torch so allot of stumbling about). Reached the main pyramid and climbed it and made it just in time for the sunrise. Although the sun was hidden behind clouds it was still beautiful to hear the wildlife waking up; monkeys, birds, frogs. After this we had a great tour of almost all structures and also saw loads of wildlife and flaura and fauna (guide really is a must).

Got back to hotel and what I thought was nice hotel manager was turned out to be an ogre of the highest order. Kicked me and Seungmi out and wouldn't let us store bags with the English couple. Had to pack our bags in front of him. To piss him off even more I took my time and even double packed. Booked different hotel after that. It was way better (Dona Rosa hotel..bit pricier but at $15 worth every penny. Will see Tikal again tomorrow because I loved it so much. I'll be able to take more time.

Found a Sushi place (very weird on this island) and had a slap up meal and few beers for $7. Late night swim in the warm lake and then back to hotel to book a tour bus for tomorrow at 9am (a slightly healthier time). Little did I know that tomorrow would be one of the worst experiences of my life.

Well..I knew it would happen eventually but never expected it so soon on arriving in Guatemala. If Mum and Dad are reading this..probably best to skip to next day. I want to write everything I remember happening in this blog (well..99% of it anyway) so today's events will also be added. My philosophy is you take the good with the bad during travel (can't always be good times) and so far everything's been good. Was the usual nice sunny day in Flores and last night had booked a bus trip to see the Tikal ruins again (needed more time..yesterdays tour was great but a bit rushed).

Minibus arrived at 9am and was fairly full; Kiwi couple, English couple, fellah from US and German couple. Bus set off down the usual Tikal road with quite a few cars and buses on it. About 1 hour into the 1.5 hour trip I was woken up by somebody shouting "Oh shit" and as I woke up from the usual snooze on buses I saw 3 masked gunmen running towards the bus. The bus was pretty damn slow but driver tried to keep going. 2 of the gunmen aimed their pump actions at him so in the end he had to stop. One gunman jumped into the bus and waved the shotgun around while the other 2 trotted at each side of bus and forced the driver down a disused, quiet lane. All sorts of emotions going on in my mind; is this some sort of joke? Is this a kidnapping? What valuables have I got on me? (and many more random ones).

While the bus was driving down the quiet lane shotgun 1 was poking people with the barrel and pushing people around. By this time it was pretty obvious what was going on and everyone's natural instinct was to just take out everything from their pockets and hand it over. The main worry at this point was how sensitive shotgun 1's trigger finger was or if there were any major bumps on the road (the guy was waving the barrel around so wildly we were shit scared it would go off in someone's face (luckily it didn't). After 10 minutes of driving down a really desolate dirty road the bus came to a stop and this is when everyone really became shit scared. We thought they would just grab the valuables and run...

All three gunmen dragged us out one by one and made us lie in the dirt face down and hands on head in a line all the time prodding, slapping or kicking people while they were on the floor. Allot was going through my mind at this time..flashes of Bourne films, snippets of Bravo Two Zero, Kung Fu films and also news footage of hostage taking in the Middle East but thank God myself and everyone else kept their cool. Rifle 1 dragged everyone to their feet one by one (me first..being the unlucky one first in line) and patted me down, checking every pocket, wrist, finger and ear for jewellery or money.

It then dawned on me that 5 minutes before the bus had arrived I'd gone to the bank to change $100 + used my passport to do it (yep..it was in my pocket). For some weird reason he didn't want it (who doesn't want a British passport?) and my credit card so he left it. He took my truly missed sunglasses, my non-working cheap skanky Swatch and very nearly took my silver Africa pendant (this he tried to rip from my neck but gave up after realising it wasn't worth the hassle). Then I was pushed against the minibus (really shit it here) and he checked for any hidden pockets (so much form my sown hidden pocket idea..but luckily today it was empty).

When he finished there was a brief moment when I didn't know what to do and made the mistake of staring him in the eyes (they were all wearing combat gear and balaclavad up so nothing else to stare at. I know its always a bad idea to stare at them and always a good idea to look at the floor. The really scary thing was he looked shit scared too so any kind of mistake from anyone could be lethal. Eventually he just pushed me down on the floor and next searched Seungmi. One gunman (rifle 1) stayed searching the minibus (allot of people had deliberately tried to hide valuables under seats, in ashtrays etc but the gunmen found everything. Shotgun 1 & 2 in the meantime brought everyone's bags in front of us and rifles for valuables.

Every now and then one would come over to where we were lying on the ground and either check shoes, kick someone or slap them in the head (wankers) or pull clothes off to check underneath for valuables. They even took an english girl's shoes (Merrel..they know quality shoes). God only knows what was running through her head at the time. The Kiwi couple got the worst of it. For some reason (maybe because he was a big lad) the made them stand up and started prodding them with the gun barrel. I've heard some stories of Guatemala robberies and with most of them the victims had to undress down to their underwear. All clothes are then usually taken in case there is money hidden in there. We were lucky in a sense because the hero of the day appeared...

Casually walking up the road was a tiny, wrinkly old walnut of a Guatemalan fellah carrying an axe in one hand and a machete in the other. This spooked the robbers and Rifle 1 fired 3 shots in his direction...he just carried on walking (I suspect he was a Guatemalan Ninja). Sensing that our hero may have called the police the robbers grabbed all the bags, shouted at us (even with my limited Spanish understanding I could tell they meant 'Stay down...anyone tries to follow we will shoot'. They then ran down the road and there's a very good chance they will never be caught. A few minutes later the first natural reaction from everyone was shock and allot of people shed a tear or two. Everyone was checking that no one was seriously hurt but everyone was ok...but very shaken.

Getting a much needed ciggy from my pocket was even difficult...hands were shaking like leaves. Me and my travel buddy Seungmi were the lucky ones as far as items we lost. When I checked the minibus I found my day bag with my beloved camera still there (how lucky is that...they must had forgotten it), found my credit card on the floor and my passport was safe in my pocket. Others lost everything; journals (some had been written for a year, expensive camera's, ipods (why they brought this I don't know), passports, plane tickets..list goes on.

Seungmi lost credit cards, travel tickets but thankfully left her passport at home. The police finally showed up and escorted us to a village police station. They were really good about it all but it took 4 hours for them to list everything stolen (for insurance) and the vain hope that they find the stuff. Next we had to go to the local government office back in Flores and file reports. This took another 4 hours.

Got back to the hotel absolutely shattered and although we were supposed to have booked out of the hotel at 1pm the kind manager let us keep the room until the night bus to Guatemala. Got the night bus ($34) to Guatemala leaving Flores at 9.30 (9 hours). The plan was to sleep on the bus but by this time I was well paranoid. Every time the bus slowed down I'd peer through the front windscreen just in case. In the end it was a good journey..arrived on time and got a connecting bus to Antigua.

Flores and Tikal are both really beautiful spots which made it all the more a pity the robbery happened. Thinking about the whole thing later on and talking about it with everyone we realised it was quite possibly an inside job; main reason was the bus was traveling suspiciously slow so was an easy target. Talking later to a tourist officer he said this is the first Tikal robbery in a year (fucking sods law). Still a bit shell shocked from the robbery but travel must go on. The plan is a couple of days in the beautiful city of Antigua, then 2 more days chilling (really need it now) at Lake Atitlan.

This is where it gets a bit complicated..I may fly to Peru and do some trekking around there and then Bolivia then fly back to Guate for Spanish classes. We'll see...

After a long night of travel arrived In Antigua at 8am. Sadly it was pissing it down but still looked impressive and beautiful. Found my chosen hotel (Internacional Morachi $14 for 2 people) and settled in and chilled in their really relaxing garden. Its pretty chilly here, so wearing waterproofs I went for a long walk on the cobbled streets with the amazing backdrop of volcanoes. Noticing way more tourists here than previous towns. Food seems to be pretty pricey here so as I usually do in towns and city's I headed as far from the main square as possible for the cheaper food option.

To change the subject completely, I've totally gotten used to ablutions here in this part of the world. Toilet paper is not to be flushed away but has to be dumped in a bin. Sometimes this is a scary sight to behold but for obvious environmental reasons its all good. Hot water is also a bit of a luxury. Its always available at my budget hotels but the timing has to be just right. Sometimes it only works early mornings, sometimes late at night and of course the jackpot is evenings (always only works for 30 minutes at any time. The unlucky sod is the one who is showering when it cuts off).

The Mayan people are dressed so colourfully here, especially the woman who wear bright reds, blues, yellows and greens which throws any kind of colour co-ordination out the window but looks amazing. Hearing allot more of the Mayan language as well which to my un-trained ears sounds more harsh and gutteral than other languages in this part of the world but musical at the same time. Very tired from yesterdays events and the night bus so an easy dinner and sleep glorious sleep.

Another wet and slightly chilly day here in Antigua. I always thought it would be pretty hot here but it is rainy season now. Had a healthy breakfast at a local bakery shop which consisted of a slice of Cheesecake and a cuppa (probably my 5th proper cup of cha since leaving the US) for $2. Seungmi had a chocolate cake. Walked around for a couple of hours and yes Antigua is beautiful but I would argue that Oaxaca and San Cristobal del Casa are more so. Quite a few people would disagree with me on that but I find Antigua very touristy. Big tour coaches of tourists would stop and out would pour hordes of people with cameras.

Bumped into a funny Aussie girl I'd met on the bus from Palenque to Flores. She had argued about a 50 cent border charge for 5 minutes with the Mexican officials (to the embarrassment of everyone on the minibus...except me, I thought it was very funny and encouraged her). After that I nicknamed her Eboneelisa Scrooge. Really nice girl though. In the afternoon had to make some official calls to cancel Seungmi's stolen credit cards and travelers cheque's (again well happy nothing else was nicked).

Met a nice Korean couple who knew of the secret location of the only Korean restaurant in town and was invited along with Seungmi. Never tried Korean food before and never realised it could be so spicy..boy was it hot. Siesta time and then went to book a trip up the Volcano Pacaya for tomorrow ($7). Normally I'd try and go it alone but it seems every tourist spot there is in Guate there's some kind of robbery warning unless going with a guide (hmm wonder if there's some kind of monopoly here. Getting the boat across Guatemala's no mans land I was told if I walked 15 minutes along the river I could get the boat for one tenth of the price of the bigger company but face a high risk of being robbed on the way because the main boat company don't like it).

Wanted to catch a film tonight but timed it badly and got to the cinema too late for Stardust so came back and chilled in cafe in the main square and did some people watching. Very busy with the usual traffic but every now and then a Mayan kid or old fellah would trot past on a horse ignoring all traffic (that's the way to travel).

Had the volcano trip to do this afternoon (there's a morning and afternoon trip but apparently the lighting is way better in the afternoon) so took it easy in the morning and did the usual laundry duty. Met the minibus at 1pm. As well as the driver there was also a hard looking fellah wielding hard looking shotgun (our security). The drive was the roughest and bumpiest I've had so far and after 1.5 hours we reached the starting point for the Volcano trek. Even before the bus stopped we were surrounded by screaming kids selling walking sticks and plastic sheets (it was bucketing). I bought a stick (20c) and a sheet (40c) because I'd heard it was a tough walk.

The two hour walk uphill was well tough and loads of people were slipping in the mud. There was a mule rider behind us as backup. It was very tempting to pay the $9 to ride all the way up but eventually it leveled out. A short walk downhill and the temperature soared and everyone was dry within a minute of standing near the lava. Some people were wearing thin soled shoes (daft) and could walk very far over the dried lava as their feet were burning too much.

Very amazing to poke active lava with a stick and watch it slowly drip down. The heat was just incredible. Everywhere little pockets of sulphur smoke would pour out. After a while the three Israeli guys produced a bag of hot dogs and started preparing for a barbie. They had to use the walking sticks as extensions because you just couldn't get close enough without them. Generously the hot dogs were shared with the group. Quite weird munching on hot dogs next to an active volcano.

After 2 hours of walking hell (muddy, dark and steep...Seungmi had to hang on to the guide nearly all the way down) back to the bus we had a drink and our security guy let us hold the shotgun and take some pics (It was well heavy but made me think what may have happened had I been holding this on the bus a few days prior...doesn´t even bear thinking about, probably would have shot myself in the foot).

Got back to Antigua at night and was so knackered I just fancied a snack dinner. In a local shop I repeatedly tried to ask for a Pot Noodle (they have their own variety here and its pretty tasty) in Spanish but they didn't understand me at all. I nearly gave up when the shop owner took me and Seungmi to the back of the shop where there was a long table and seated there eating were some local families. She sat us down and brought out two plates of the most delicious spaghetti bolognese with fresh bread and a soda (all for $1...bliss). During dinner had a chat with an Argentine hippy who sells bikes around Latin America. Really nice bloke and told me loads of sites to see in Argentina (when drawing a rough map of Argentina he even included the Falkland Isles..at which point we both laughed). He gave me his number so when I get to Argentina I'll look him up.

Last day in Antigua today so booked a ticket for the afternoon bus to Lake Atitlan ($8). Had to replace my stolen watch and sunglasses so made a beeline for the market. It being a Sunday it was very busy and very colourful. Lots of local folk buying fruit, clothes and all sorts. Finally found a half decent pair of shades for $5 (suspected to be stolen from a tourist) and an Adidas watch for $6 (again suspect). For that kind of price I won't be too fussed if they get nicked. Maybe it was foolish of me to bring my favourite sunglasses on my travels. Also bought a snide Chelsea top for the bargain price of $6 (even cheaper than Thailand but quality is really crap).

Nearly missed the bus to Lake Atitlan and arrived just as it was pulling away. The drive was a rough one as the main highway was hit by landslides the night before so the driver took ropy local roads. The driver was a friendly fellah who had the misfortune to have droopy eyes and look like Droopy from the cartoons. A daft Argentinean girl thought he was tired and told him his driving was bad and he looked sleepy so he should rest. Of course he got a bit angry with this and told her he was fine and had been driving for 25 years.

Arrived in Panajachel (the main town on Lake Atitlan) and yes it was raining here too. Found the gorgeous hotel Mario Rooms ($15) and settled for a while in a hammock with Seungmi in their lovely garden. Had a cheap and cheerful chicken dinner with fruit punch for $3 then booked a bus for tomorrow to see the colourful Mayan market in a town called Chichi (great name).

Early 8am start and waited for the bus to Chichi. Bus arrived and it was the same driver as yesterday (yep, he looked sleepy again). After a 2 hour drive reached the bustling market of Chichi. It was packed with local Mayans and tourists. The locals would come here to buy pigs, chickens, turkeys, eggs, bananas, tortillas and thousands of other things. Seems to be a thriving market in snide music cd's and very cheap too ($2 will get you a newish album). The colours and smells are amazing as you walk through each section of market and there's no mercy when people want to pass..its a case of just barging through.

Nearly got attacked by a gang of turkeys as a guy carrying a basket of them on his head tried to barge passed me but mistimed it and walked into a stall corner and then me instead. The basket of screaming turkeys pretty much landed on my head (bloody things were everywhere but no harm done and all the turkeys were found eventually).

There is only so much shopping a man can take and after 4 hours I gave up and left Seungmi to it as I headed back to the bus pickup point (2 hours early) and pretty much collapsed on some stairs nearby. Starting to feel a cold coming on and a touch of fever. The fruits of my 4 hours of shopping was a really nice Mayan style water bottle holder that slings over the shoulder. Back on the bus with Seungmi and another hair-raising drive back to Pana. Picked up my pack and walked down to the boat launch area. Had to wait around for 30 minutes for a small boat that goes to another launch area ($3).

Then had to wait a whopping 1 hour for the final boat to San Pedro to fill up with passengers (the Captain refused to budge until it was full). I had hot and cold shakes by this point and was feeling really shitty. Finally the boat left and after a 30 minute bum cheek and jaw bone shattering ride I arrived in San Pedro at night. The place looks really nice and peaceful with just a few restaurants by the launch area and beautiful bohemian narrow cobbled streets.

After what seemed like a lifetime of walking I arrived at my chosen hotel (Sak'Cari). Not the cheapest in town but I negotiated a good deal for a 2 week stay ($10 for 2 people per night) which in my state was a miracle in itself. I literally fell into bed and spent the whole night shivering and trying to sleep (crap..gotta see a doctor again just in case).

When I did finally manage to drag myself out of bed I headed for the only doctor in town. After waiting a monstrous 2 hours (actually fell asleep in waiting room) the doctor checked me over and thankfully all I had was a ear and throat infection for which he prescribed antibiotics. All good stuff I thought until I gave the prescription to the receptionist. When she asked for $70 I nearly laughed at her (well I did actually). Tried to reason with her that I could actually get a new throat and ear for that kind of money. I did manage to knock the price down a bit to a final price of $60. Didn't have that kind of money on me so in the pouring rain had to traipse back to the hotel, get my credit card, traipse to the bank and then traipse back to Dr. Dollar feeling even sicker but also feeling pissed off and like I've been robbed twice in a week. I never like paying more than locals for things (I class it as a form of racism) but maybe I'm just too used to the NHS and a common service for all.

Seungmi also explained that in Korea there is a tier system of paying for medication; so from poor to rich and depending on assets like a car, house etc you have to pay more (fair enough). Spent the rest of the day wrapped up in bed watching Lake Atitlan (yes I can see the lake from bed...gorgeous view) with one eye and watching the numerous games of football on TV (sadly no England games).

As I was feeling a bit better and pumped full of painkillers and antibiotics Seungmi decided to head back to Tikal for a few days (don't blame her..the ruins were amazing there and we never got to see it the 2nd time). I just chilled in the room and had a few brief walks around the small town. Got lost a few times because although a small place most of the tiny narrow streets look the same. Even in my feverish state I could appreciate the good vibe here.

Back at the hotel just watched TV and some mad and strange birds hanging out on a tree outside the big window. Every 5 minutes they would start chirping hysterically and then like a squadron of Kamikaze pilots would attack the window and peck at it. Quite un-nerving at first but the I realised they were grabbing flies and other insects hiding along the window edges. Quite big birds with bright yellow breasts and brown backs. I also have a stray ginger and brown kitten that keeps me company outside the door (never comes in though).

The plan for the next week is to get better then start my Spanish classes. I may only do one week because its kind of dreary and rainy here. I had hoped for a kind of idyllic spot where I could learn Spanish in a sunny garden in the mornings and then explore, swim around in the afternoons. No such luck...its rained every single day here and its kind of chilly. We'll see

Still feeling rough and dozy from the antibiotics and painkillers (as well as suffering from paying $66 for them) so took it nice and easy today. Very easily done in this rainy but really chilled place. The weathers still crap with permanent cloud cover and rain every 30 minutes. Clothes seem to get muddy even after a short walk to a shop (hardly any paved roads but just mud). Made a feeble effort to walk around the whole town but was too sick and too lost.

On the whole the locals in San Pedro are really friendly here and you always get greeted with a genuine 'Hola' and 'Buanas dias' and the place is small enough to chat to strangers from day to day. Nearly got run over by a Tuktuk taxi today. Was walking round a sharp corner when it came roaring round the bend (they normally hoot). Luckily I hopped out of the way just in time and there followed 2 minutes of abuse hurled at the driver of the Tuktuk 'Cherry' as he sped off. Tuktuk (three wheelers with small engines and a little covered seating in front and back) drivers seem to be the cool dudes of San Pedro and always pull the girls. They're forever pulling up next to fit girls and murmering 'well..helllllloooooooooo' (or something to that effect) followed by the girls giggling. Maybe I should invest in one to make a bit of dough. I'd call it 'London Pride' and have 1000 watt speakers strapped to the back blaring beats and house tunes (I'd probably go bust after a week of getting lost..even though its such a small place).

Nearly had a heart-attack this evening when I checked my budget online. Its not looking too healthy after over-staying in Mexico by 3 weeks so cheap food and biscuits for a while now. For dinner I found a stall selling fried chicken and chips for $1 (purrrfeck).

Today's mission was to find a Spanish school now that I was no longer 'illin. First stop was my favourite cafe called 'Tintin' where they serve a delicious and healthy breakfast of whole grain toast and honey, fruit salad, fresh orange juice and strong cuppa all for $2. I had a list of roughly 6 recommended and decent schools to check including San Pedro Spanish School ($95 for 25 hours..and that was after haggling), Co-operative School of Spanish ($85 after haggling) and some smaller schools. All were pretty pricy..I was told it would be around $55.

After a cheap and cheerful lunch of a Pot Noodle with Seungmi (not really Pot Noodle but an inferior Mexican brand) for 70c (well I am on a tight budget) and a siesta my Spanish School mission continued. Most of them looked the same (cosy table and chairs set in secluded gardens) and had similar prices. By the end of the day and with only one left to check I decided to sleep on it.

For dinner me and Seungmi walked a fair distance in the dark (this is probably the only place in Guatemala I've felt comfortable doing this) to get to the local market for some cheap grub. Still pouring with rain so went back and to my room and watched a few football repeats of Brazil vs Columbia and Holland vs Slovenia. Bit pissed off because I missed the only showing of the England vs Russia game at 9am this morning. I fear the worst for England at this point and doubt whether they'll qualify for the 2008 Euros in Austria.

Today is a national holiday here in Guatemala so a lot of places are closed. Today they celebrate the 1944 armed uprising (by popular support) and the subsequent election to president of a teacher called Juan Jose Arevalo. A very popular fellah who introduced Social Security to the country as well as some other help for the poorer families. Of course all of this meant that half the population (nearly every bloke) was out on the lash (very early).

Had a quick breakfast then off to see my last Spanish School; Flor de Maiz. Out of all the schools here this one got top reviews online. Me and Seungmi immediately liked the place; small (no more than 10 students at one time), very friendly and they have a strong link with a local Mayan school for the poor and after-school activities like tree planting. We both signed up to start on Monday (all schools start on Mondays so I was well pissed off I got ill on the Sunday because I could have studied an extra week) and haggled the price down from $95 to $80 for 5 hours a day for 5 days.

Had a celebratory lunch of a Pot Noodle and some biscuits then walked around town. San Pedro's quite a drug and bead wearer hangout so as I walked around I wasn't surprised to hear the ever familiar (growing up in Ladbroke Grove you hear it allot) 'Weed...Charlie...Crack...Speed...' Out of curiosity I did some price checks and everything's roughly a quarter of UK prices (Sweet Jesus its cheap here). No wonder westerners get stranded here for years and start discovering the joys of beads and an allergy to soap and shampoo.

By night time it was getting well messy around town what with the revolution celebrations. Fellahs were passed out in the middle of the road while Tuktuks raced passed them missing their heads by inches. As I walked around the odd lashed up bloke would poke me and accuse me of some kind of wrong-doing in 1944 (course I nearly lamped them for insinuating that I was 65 years old when everyone knows I'm 31). It was all good natured though and I had a few beers while I was looking for dinner.

In the end I gave in to 'the Hunger' and got a pizza at Mikes Pizza (only pizza in town apparently) for $4.50. I suspect tonight isn't gonna be the safest place to bowl about (even in this peaceful place) so an early night of watching The Two Towers in Spanish and doing some blog updates.

Rotten weather again here in San Pedro but a glimmer of sunny hope as the sun pops out every now and then. On the way to breakfast saw allot more sprawled out and drunken bodies lying on the road (not just the side but slap bang in the middle where cars, Tuktuks and bikes all race passed them). A bit odd that nobody tries to move them or even take notice of them. Today is chill out and chores day so did the usual laundry (have just realised I only have one pair of socks...some desperate gypo nicked my only other unwashed pair in a hostel in San Cristobal), patched some clothes and then walked around the opposite side of town (which takes a mammoth 10 minutes to complete).

Its allot quieter on the east side of town with less hotels and restaurants and also cheaper so lunch was a slap-up meal of chicken pancakes and salad for $2.50. Noticing quite a few gringo owned premises around town (bars, restaurants, massage parlours, hotels and pools) and I suspect there may be some resentment from the locals (quite a bit of 'Gringos go home' graffiti on the walls around town). Works both ways though because without the tourists there obviously would be less work for locals.

First day at Spanish School today and as is always the case with first days at a new school I'm a bit nervous about it all (just like starting secondary school for the first day). Early start at 8am which is easy to wake up for because the sun has finally won the battle against the clouds and rain (well...for now anyway). A short walk to the school with Seungmi and there we were introduced to all the teachers and the only other student (a rather quiet Austrian fellah called Jacob who's been waiting for a parcel and some money to be delivered here for the last 4 weeks...the post is extremely bad here it seems). Quite tricky talking to him, because as is always the case at Spanish language schools, everyone wants to speak Spanish (I totally agree with this but when a beginner it doesn't make any sense to me).

My teacher for the week is a friendly Mayan bloke called Lorenzo who unfortunately for me and him has developed the flu and looks pretty rough. The first day of lessons is focused on basic conversation and introductions. The student area is unlike any I've ever studied in. First a two minute walk through a beautiful wild garden along a narrow path and then short paths lead off on each side to small sheltered gardens with two chairs and a small table. During lessons the only distractions are squirrels, field mice, birds, lizards, insects and ravenous mosquito's (niiiice). Break time at 10.30 we all get a cuppa and some bread and as usual the rule is everyone speaks Spanish. I have a secret weapon for this kind of situation until my Spanish improves (used quite often during my travels) ...I start talking about football. Apart from when I'm drunk and my Spanish doubles in effectiveness this is the best solution. At 1pm class finishes and then its off to my favourite lunch time cafe; a hidden one that has no name but has quality food and is cheap as chips.

The next four days are pretty much a blur of sameness but all good stuff:

- Wake up at 7am to bright sunshine and a particularly annoying and noisy puppy barking non-stop next door (in normal circumstance this would drive me absolutely mental but the birds and sunshine cancel it out).

- On the way to school buy a few bananas and a small plastic bag filled with freshly squeezed orange juice (yes, that's the storage of choice here for fresh take away drinks. Quite a few times I'd arrive at school with just half a bag left from leakages..only 50c for the lot).

- At 8am start classes and sit down with Lorenzo in the magic garden and do 1 hour of conversation practice.

- 10.30 am is a much needed 30 minute break where everyone sits around drinking tea and talking Spanish. For some strange reason football is always the subject of discussion.

- At 1pm school is out and I'd go for a spot of cheap lunch at my local ($2 for pasta and a fresh juice).

- Then siesta time with the background noise of the puppy from hell in the background.

- Spanish homework for 2 hours; some practical conversation to which my unfortunate hotel manager foolishly agreed to do with me and also some theory.

- Some happy hour drinks (beer = $1) and then dinner at my favourite dinner location...'Tintins' (thai curry, juice and salad for $5).

A blur of sameness

A blur of sameness

A blur of sameness but have now got some kind of stomach bacteria with the symptoms of loss of appetite, vomiting and burps that can kill at 5 feet. Drinking loads of liquids and going easy on the food.

One of the Spanish teachers is getting married today and has invited me along. Meeting place is the Catholic church at 10am. So at 9am I head off to the local market to get a small wedding present of 4 cups and saucers. Waited at the church for 2 hours (with Jacob and another Swiss guy called Pedro who is stranded here waiting for 5 weeks for a parcel with money..he is totally skint and is attending the wedding for free food and drink).

Nobody showed up in the end so me and Seungmi gave up and went back to my room to chill, recover and enjoy our first day without classes. I really enjoyed the classes but after the last day had a similar feeling of joy that I had when I finished secondary school....joy of joys. My time in San Pedro is coming to an end now and I've decided to carry what Spanish I have learned on to another place...Honduras. Have bought our bus tickets to Antigua from where we'll get a direct bus to the Copan ruins in Honduras. In Antigua I'll see a doc about my stomach (if I see one here I'll be skint).

Caught the bus to Antigua at 9.30am ($5). Very winding and bumpy journey which turned from 3 hours into 4 because of a 1 hour road block. My gassy and bacterial burps were the cause of much mystery on the bus (course I didn't admit to them) and whenever I burped everyone on the bus would say 'oh, we must have passed by a sewage works' (didn't they wonder why there were so many sewage works on the trip?).

Arrived In Antigua at 1.30pm and the first stop was a cheap hotel and then straight to the docs. After paying a whopping $20 it turns out I still have a throat infection and a very swollen and bacterial gut which is producing killer burps that have only one benefit and that is it keeps the mosquito's at bay. Bought tablets at one of the many pharmacies for the usual outrageous price of $34 (really can't afford to get sick in these parts). Next bought my bus ticket to the Copan ruins in Honduras ($10). Back at the hotel I tried in vain to have a siesta but the owner of the fair Posada la Quinta has decided to keep two talking birds on the premises who repeatedly wolf whistle, say the Spanish alphabet (slowly at first and then really fast), say hola and then giggle. This is repeated by each bird non-stop and exactly the same. Its very funny hearing it for the first 10 minutes but after a while its maddening. Tomorrow morning I'm going to teach them to shout 'shut itttttttttt you tart!' (lets see what the manager thinks of that).

Tomorrow morning I have the usual un-godly 4am bus to catch with Seungmi and if I hear a bird so much as move its beak tonight I'll roast it for breakfast.