Oceania - Australia

My last day in New Zealand and I was in pretty good spirits. Had a lie in, packed and then had a last wander around the fair city of Christchurch. At midday it was time to catch the airport shuttle using my last NZ$5. The bus passengers had a bit of a scare when the driver couldn't open the luggage compartment at the airport but after 10 minutes and 5 blokes helping we sorted it out (there must be a 'how many men does it take to...' joke in there somewhere. Waiting at the airport I was kind of nervous and excited. At the end of this flight I'm going to see my brother and his new family. I've never met the rest of the clan and haven't seen him for at least 5 years. I was going to meet my only nephew James. So, it's a 'so long New Zealand..and thanks for the feeesh (and cheeeps)' from me.

The flight was uneventful and even a touch of turbulence didn't even make me blink 'Pah, Turbulance...I'm a hardened skydiver now with one jump under my belt'. It was fantastic to see my bro Sheridan again after 5 or 6 years and extra sweet for me that he was there to greet me at the airport (shit...how many times did I meet him after his long flights to the UK...DOH!). He was looking rather tired foregoing his sleep during the day (he works nights) but in good spirits nonetheless.

After the long one hours drive out of the big smoke that is Sydney we reached the small satellite town of Woonona (what a name) where I met his lovely other half Bonnie and my only nephew and lovely little monkey that is James. It was a long day but after some dinner and home made cake we had a long chat (obviously loads to catch up on).

Today I have a mission in town but only after doing a few chores with Sheridan. A few bits to move around the lovely new house of theirs. My mission, if I am willing to undertake it is to say goodbye to my pal, my closest allie, my part-time chair, my footrest, my protector of all I own....my 35L Black Wolf Tsunami backpack (I think the naming was a bit insensitive). Its sad for me but the poor thing has rolled down volcano faces, rolled around in desert, been ransacked on buses (unsuccessfully), carried twice as much as any normal pack should have to and it was on its last legs. I needed a new one.

Headed into Sydney by train (1.5 hours) and walked out into the bustling Railway Central area. My first thought was 'Am I in Beijing or Shanghai?). The asian community is huuuge here (similar to Auckland in NZ). Had a long walk around trying to find an outdoor shop and after 2 hours of walking aimlessly found a shop and found myself a new companion for the next year. I had a few other minor missions but a serious storm hit Sydney so I scampered back to the train and headed back. I'm not too sure about Sydney from what I've seen so far. From what I've seen its like a big Oxford Street with so many fast food chains it would make an American jealous. I have yet to see the main attractions here so I'll save any comments for then.

Had a quiet evening and spent some quality time with Sheridan, Bonnie and James and just soaked up some good old fashioned family atmosphere. What a great family they are. The next week I'm going to hang around here for half of that. Bonnie is pregnant and is due to give birth any time soon. So I'll hang around and maybe help out a bit at the house. After that I head northwards along the east coast. I had originally planned to go to Melbourne but...1,100Km just to spend a few days in a city. I don't think so.

I'm heading north where its warmer and to more family I want to see and hopefully some sights along the way. I have been prepped on the red back and funnel-web spider so have no fear of sitting on a toilet and getting stung.

This next few weeks is all about quality family time for me so there won't be many adventures to report...just good old fashioned family time. Well, today's my first full day of Sydney exploration. My main mission is to find myself a decent backpack (it's going to be well sad getting rid of the old one...I may have to give it a Viking burial at sea, pop it into a small boat, push it out to sea and lob a flame onto it. Sigh...that pack has seen me through all sorts of adventures).

Got the hour and a half train ride into central Sydney and had a good walk around. It reminds me a lot of an Oxford Street type area but square shaped. Funny enough there is an Oxford Street...very different from the Oxford Street I know back home though. After hours of deliberation and indecision I settled on a Black Wolf pack again (top quality and not too pricey). Let's hope it lasts me through my asia adventures.

At around 6pm Sydney was hit with a storm of thunder, lightening, showers and some kind of electrical sky activity...time for me to head back for cover. Back at base camp Sheridan was still asleep (the poor fellah works nights so has to try and sleep during the day). Had a chat with Bonnie and played with James in his favourite activity..sandpit and trucks. A quiet and restful night in my own room (wow..what a treat after hostel rooms with snoring, gorgonzola feet and no space to swing an ant.

Today it was time to do a bit of work around the house and try and pay for my hospitable bro's room and food. First off I helped him paint the cot for the next very-soon-to arrive Niece or Nephew. Bonnie had reported hearing some scratching sounds in the ceiling and the wall so an inspection was needed from the old hand at rat catching Rowley Rat and his assistant Sheridan.

First off we went to the local hardware store to buy some traps. Filling the traps with a good array of rat treats we clambered up into the attic. Now rats don't really bother me (well, unless they run up my trouser leg in a gang...boy have I heard some horror stories about pest technicians who don't tie up their trousers at the ankles) but when I saw a spider the size of Buckingham Palace on one of the support beams I jumped into the air and nearly lost all bravery for this project.

Sheridan was kind enough to explain that the spider in question was of the deceased variety so the mission continued (but with some caution on my behalf). The spider in question was a Huntsman ..pretty big fellahs and quite aggressive. Sheridan told me a story of when he was cleaning his bike and grabbed an old rag hung over an outside chair. After a few minutes he felt something on his chest, looked down and lo and behold there was a huge huntsman sitting there giving him the eye of death (shiver).

After watching Sheridan swing around the attic and everywhere else me and Bonnie settled for dinner while Sheridan caught up with some kip. Had a good cat with her about life and such things.

Bonnie had her baby shower to go to so it was time for the boys to do some touristy stuff (of course including a play area for young James). Drove into town, parked up (now there's a novelty...try doing that in London) and strolled around Sydney harbour. Its a lovely place with cafe's and boats buzzing with activity. Sydney Opera House was a sight to behold indeed (from a distance that is...when you get up close it looks kind of plain and concreted).

Then we caught a ferry to see Sydney Bridge up close. A huge fete of engineering it was very impressive. Jumped off at the Aquarium stop, not for the fish but so that young James could let off some steam at the kids heaven that is a play park. Where the little fellah gets his energy from is a miracle...me and Sheridan were knackered just watching him scuttle around in a frenzy.

Caught the ferry back and had a stroll around then picked up Bonnie. Arrived back at base late in the evening. Had a few drinks then James gave us an impromptu guitar and singing performance. It was a mix of John Denver with a touch of Sid Vicious. Sheridan went for his much needed sleep while James was still in a frenzy so Bonnie played with him while I pondered my backpack and contents for a serious re-pack.

Booked my flight to a place up north called Townsville to see some old family friends (well, they are more like family really). Only to realise later that they lived roughly 4,000km away on the Gold Coast and not Townsville (what a donut I am). I managed to change the flight in the end but as the original one was double price I lost out on AU$70 (well, at least I was going to the right place).

Today was one of those rainy days where nobody wanted to do anything including myself. We all made an effort to do something though and drove to the biggest Buddhist Temple in the southern hemisphere..only to find it was closed on a Monday (well...nobody likes mondays do they..not even the monks?). Bit of shopping in the local town of Wollongong (what a great name) and then back to base for some chilling and cot painting (I think this was the 20th coat of paint).

This was my last day with Sheridan, Bonnie and James but had tons of packing and planning to do so got on with my stuff. Sheridan had to go to work and Bonnie was cream crackered so at 10.15pm said our goodbyes and I got ready for my 4.30am wake up.

Had a really great time just relaxing and spending time with the family this week so it was quite weird getting ready to head off again.

Managed to haul myself out of bed on time and caught the train to the domestic terminal. After a very (I mean very..) turbulent flight (I honestly thought I was skydiving again) I arrived at the Gold Coast airport. So armed with Rob and B's address I walked out into the warm air that is the mid-east coast of Oz. Now this is what I'm talking about..proper T-shirt weather...nice.

Caught the bus to Collanbar and then got some important bits sorted out at the local shopping centre. Finding their house was a task in itself (how dumb of me not to phone them...did email though). Eventually found the house and knocking on the gate I was greeted by the loudest and meanest barks I've heard in a long while. On the other side of the fence (lucky for me) were two ferocious looking Rhodesian Ridgeback's. They were not happy puppies and when I sat on my pack outside trying to catch a catnap the frenzy got worse.

Eventually Jess arrived from work and quickly gave B a call to welcome me into the home (It needed two of them to control the dogs). One of the dogs (Tuska, named after the ever popular African beer) really had it in for me and later on in the evening when I was supping a beer with the family he would charge at me snarling and snapping. Of course most of my drink went flying into the air with shock. He soon calmed himself down.

It was great to see them all (Robbie, Belinda, Jake and Jessica) again and had a lovely dinner and a reminisce. Early night for me in the sanctuary of my own room from Tuska. Rafiki (the female) was a happy puppy and spent most of the time protecting me from her bro.

After a top night of sleep I opened the bedroom door to be greeted by one suspicious dog and one friendly one. After a few treats of toast the grumpy one was soon getting friendlier. Drove to Belinda's work and she dropped me off at Palm Beach so I could wander around a bit. It's amazing how much beach there is in this whole area and with the bonus of good waves.

I wasn't quite ready for any surfing yet but had a long walk on the beach with Surfers Paradise in my sights. Up until the afternoon it was a clear, blue sunny day...gorgeous. Can't believe everyone was complaining about how cold it was (Sweet Jesus...they should go to New Zealand and live in a van for a week). After a few hours of this and not quite reaching the destination I turned back and headed for the local shopping centre for a wander. Then walked back Corrumbin and met up with Belinda. Chatted to some of her work mates. One thing of note is that the Aussie's really do call the English Pommes. I always thought it was a joke but when they mention anyone from England it's 'Oh yeah, he's from Manchester...a Pom'.

Hard day at work for Rob today so a chilled evening of dinner and a few beers, then off to bed. It's a bank holiday on Monday so a lot of plans were made for activities this weekend (it's the Queen's birthday...now I may be wrong but do we get a bank holiday back home for her birthday...I think not!).

After walking around 12-15 km's yesterday today was my chore and chill day. Had some diary writing to do, the household computer to fix and other bits and bobs to do. One thing really annoying me of late is my selling of my trusty Nokia Communicator on eBay. It all went smoothly, the phone was won at a reasonable price by a Yank. I sent him an email from NZ explaining I will post it within a few days. After a few days he opened a complaint with ebay and took the money back. This was after I'd posted the damn thing. So now I have no money from it and the phone is most likely ending up in his pocket. Hopefully I can at least get the phone back although I'll never see the AU$25 I spent on postage again (bollocks and damn you Yank eBay fiend). Moral of the story..well, I hate to say it but I'll never sell to a Yank again (this is the 2nd time it's happened).

The dogs were as good as gold and would follow me around the house wagging their tails. Got this weeks blog writing done and fixed the computer. Also sifted through my endless MP3 collection, ready for the next part of my trip. I'm really getting into a band called Feeder at the moment. I remember always seeing their posters up and around in London but never realised what a top notch band they are.

A quiet evening and night relaxing with the Ferris's and their family antics.

The plan for the next week is a few more days here on the Gold Coast and then I fly to Uluru (Ayers Rock) to hopefully find some spiritualism and tradition.

Today Rob's got a day off work so rather than laze about doing nothing we decided to go for a drive. The destination was Surfers Paradise to see those huge high rises and beaches up close. It's quite a tacky area with the centre-piece being an 80 floor apartment block (soon to be beaten by a 120 floor one...nice). Quite tricky even seeing the beach with all that concrete about. Stopped off at the Marina and had a slap up fish and chip lunch with a beer for pudding. We drove around some more and the curse of the lunchtime beer kicked in..siesta time.

Thirty minutes later it was pub time. The main event was to celebrate Jake's leaving his work (actually, the buggers had laid him off after his 4 years of apprenticeship...as well as hundreds of others). We met up with B's workmates, Jake, Jess and her new fellah Adam and Rob. We all had many, many beers. I tried a few of the Aussie favourites; Toohey's New, VB and they actually had XXXX (supposedly piss water exported to England with commercial lies of it being the best beer in Aus). I did struggle a bit and showed how green I was when the barman started rambling on about me wanting a stubbie, scooner, jug or a pint...just give me a pint for the love of God). There was a sibling row at one point which resulted in Jess swearing at her bro and storming out. Well, Jake was winding her up.

At the end of the night a cab couldn't be found so we soldiered on for the long walk back. Rob, who is struggling a bit lately with his diabetes tilted his head and upper body forward into a forward march position and steamed off at full pelt. We could hardly keep up with him.

For the last few days something had been niggling away and today it dawned on me...I hadn't yet swum in the Australian east coast sea. So Rob lent me his car and I drove to Palm Beach for a morning splash. Asked a local surfer if it was OK to swim here 'Course bro...this is Australia' (well, you have to check on the jellyfish or shark situation). Back at Base Camp Ferris we all headed off for the yearly Wintersun festival. Basically it's a celebration of Rock'n Roll and classic cars. Saw some absolutely amazing cars of all shapes and designs and quite a few locals decked out in full rocker gear (my Dad would be in hog heaven here). I saw Elvis strolling around with a can of XXXX in hand...very weird). We had a few drinks and walked around admiring all the cars. By early evening it was time to head back.

Jess stopped off at a clothes shop to get some urgently need clothes. Rob waited outside for everyone and I popped out to see how his patience was holding out. He had been joined by two 20 year old girls who were admiring his bright purple shirt and mentioned how metro-sexual it was..oh how we laughed).

As usual the dogs went berserk when we all returned. Spent the rest of the night watching the family and some TV.

Today's theme was drugs and new age hippies as Rob and B drove me through some beautiful countryside to the famous and strange hippie town that is Nimbun. Its kind of a cross between Camden Market and Amsterdam. Weed was freely available as well as the usual array of Flower Child gear that goes with the turf. There were quite a few characters about, my favourite being a fellah dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow but with a pirate walking stick. His cover as a real pirate was only blown when he started changing his stick to his other hand and limping with a different leg.

The mission, should we choose to accept it (apart from people watching) would be to buy Jess a new bong and the rest of us some space biscuits. Buying the bong was a bit of an ordeal as the shop owner gave me a 10 minute (wry) lecture on how to use it. It wasn't for sale but for a 'contribution' it was yours but I had to promise only to smoke tobacco with it. Buying the biscuits was also a tiny bit hassly when we were herded out the back of a shop where the deal went down. B was so edgy it felt like we were in the midst of Pablo Escobar's biggest deal in history. Being rather peckish during the drive back we had a few biccies.

Big mistake..half an hour later the main topic of conversation was Jamaican Ginger Cake...we had to find some. The pit stop at a supermarket on the way back bore the fruits of mainly a bag of snacks and choccy. Of course a lot of giggling ensued and the evening and night was spent staring Zombie-like at the TV and throwing out the odd comment or two.

Today was a rotten day with the skies opening up and dropping its load so a decision was made to get some DVD's out. Most of them weren't that good..but OK Of course the biccies came out again and there was a lot of debate about how easy it was to make our own Jamaican Ginger Cake. Dinner was a delicious beef curry (I never knew Rob was Australia's answer to Gordon Ramsay. Tusker, the Ridge back that had a particular dislike and mistrust for me is now a good friend and both dogs now argue over who gets to sleep on my bed.

Today it was time for Godfather and Godson to go out for the day so Jake drove me to Byron Bay . It was a nice drive and the bay was very nice with endless sandy beaches. Had a couple of beers with Jake (he only had one, I might add) and some grub. Then had a stroll on the beach. Most of the talk was about his new girlfriend (three years older than him) and other such things. Had a great swim and did some body surfing in the crisp blue waters of Australia's east coast. We had a brief look at the big lighthouse on the way back and when the skies opened again we headed back to base.

The rest of the evening was about packing and spending time with the family. Two major events happened tonight during dinner. Firstly, we met Jake's new girlfriend (after all his talking about her it was about time). First impressions...nice girl. The second event of the night was a strange one. Me and Adam were standing outside on the big wooden patio having a smoke and a chat when he pointed up at the ceiling beams and asked..'Is that real?' Draped over the beam a few feet from our heads was a big snake...more specifically a Python. We called all the family outside and while the girls were gasping and behaving squeamishly the lads ran to get their cameras and were happily prodding it (well, Jake was) for the ideal photo. Eventually the camera-shy snake slithered back into the attic (and apparently he hasn't been seen since). What a weird thing...did he come out to bid me farewell? The family had never seen a snake there in the 5 years of staying there.

Early night and a 5am rise tomorrow as I leave the comfort and warm hospitality of the Ferris family and continue my travels. Wow, this week felt like a whole week of Christmas's (let's just say I put on a few needed pounds and lost the remaining touch of homesickness I was feeling). There was talk of getting up at 2am to watch some Euro football action (Russia vs Spain and Austria vs Croatia) but it was a plan with many holes in it...mainly the getting up part.

But I did brave it and got up at the right time...sadly the Aussie TV station wasn't showing any of the games that night (bollocks and a double DOH!).

Well, the whole family was up at 5.30am to see me off (what a nice send-off) and yesterday Jake was brave enough to volunteer his driving services at this un-godly hour to Brisbane airport. The drive was like a scene from Bullet (nah, not really...Jake drove safely and carefully) but we hit a load of traffic. My flight was due to leave at 7.50am and at 7.15 (and with another 30 minutes to go) I knew it wasn't going to happen.

Arrived at Brisbane Airport at 7.40 and after a quick farewell to Jake I scampered into the airport and went to see what Qantas could do for me. As usual they came out trumps for me and in the end for an extra $35 I was rebooked for a flight to Alice Springs via Darwin (Shweet).

In Darwin I went outside for a sneaky smoke and the heat hit me like opening an oven door (so nice to be in a warm place again). While I was outside I saw my first Native Australian Aboriginal since setting foot on this island slightly bigger than the UK. Back inside the departure lounge and waiting for my connecting flight to Alice Springs I got chatting to a friendly and unruly group of East Timorians. They all worked for the East Timor airport security and were here on training (how to use the X-ray machines etc.). For the next twenty minutes I was almost hypnotised into believing East Timor was the best country in the world. I nearly cancelled my flight to Alice to go instead to East Timor When I mentioned my plans to go to Indonesia soon they humphed and dismissed Indonesia outright as a country full of scallywags (well, they would say that after years of trying and succeeding in getting independence from them). I am seriously tempted to visit some more out of the way places that are less on the well trodden backpacker route. I'll have to ponder that one.

Alice Springs was also a cauldron of heat when I arrived in the late afternoon. Got a free ride (as well as other backpackers) from Annie's Backpackers and booked myself in. I was hoping to go and visit the great Uluru for a day or two by myself but it turns out more expensive that way so opted for a 3 day tour with some fellow travelers (in hindsight this was a great decision..the group was awesome). Walked around town a little...the place is pretty small and has the feel of an outback town. Saw loads of Aboriginals around town. They really have got such a dark black skin it almost shines.

Got some supplies for this 3 day trip (judging by the people returning from the previous one it looks quite tough) and went to bed early...ready for a 5am wake up (noooooo).

The first day of the tour and at 5.30 a tired and bleary eyed group of backpackers started milling about and bumping into each other whilst filling up the minibus. On first impressions this looked to be a good group (always very important on these trips...especially for 3 whole days of being stuck with each other). The two guides for the trip were Aussie's; Hayley (chief guide and full of endless amounts of energy and enthusiasm) and Tom (nice fellah who all the girls swoon around).

As for my fellow travelers they were as follows; a young Dutch couple (only 20 but both good fun), a German fellah called Halgas (who reminds me very much of the sloth I saw in Costa Rica. The man walks, talks and behaves like a sloth who is having a particularly tired day...its unnerving), an American student called Patrick (endless energy and an all round top bloke), Coleen (a fellow American who comes out with some wicked one liners). Then there was a mixed bag of girls that nobody got to know that well because they didn't really speak much at the time (a Scot, two Germans and a Canadian). Then there were Frank, his wife and sister Patricia (all three were older personages from New Zealand but at the ages of 70 they did us proud and were sometimes the rowdiest group of troublemakers and jokesters on the bus). Then sitting at the back was Christian (a jovial German fellah who looked so much like Vivian from the Young Ones I had to ask him a few times if he was taking the piss pretending he was a German and that he should stop it) and Stewart (a really down to earth Northerner from County Durham..good bloke). Finally was the noisiest, funniest and the core of the group...starting off with Rebecca (she had the wickedest mouth on her which would make the late Bernard Manning blush and cry 'no..you've gone too far girl'. She was from Hemel...what a girl), then the lovely Fiona and Rachel (Esseeeeeex girls and funny at that..they had a lot of things to say and were top girls and finally the cute Nicola from Ireland (nice girl).

The first few hours of our six hours driving today was spent trying to learn a local song starting with the line 'I dream of a home with a ...(already forgotten it...dammit!). The rule for the next three days was..the last one back on the bus had to sing it in front of everyone (Holy Shit..what better way to encourage punctuality). Then, the moment we all knew would happen and were secretly dreading..the standing up in front of everyone and giving name, birthplace, favourite place in Aus (I nearly said Mount Cook as a joke but was too nervous at the time), tell a joke, tell a story about being drunk and lastly our last kiss. I normally despise these kind of introductions, favouring the more natural gradual talking to people but it was good fun and most of us did it with a gusto (although some were so shit scared they muttered a few words and jumped back into their seat).

Teams were then formed for what was going to be 3 days of serious competitions on a Krypton Factor level); the Wallabies, the Kiwis, the Emus, the A-Team and finally my team called the FUKUS (yes, yes..it is the team From UK and US) which comprised me, Fiona, Coleen and Patrick. We always got a laugh and quite a few titters when our team name was called out (obviously a deliberate ruse by us to get more points from the strict score masters).

First stop of the day was the beautiful Olga's. The Olga's are a small range of red rocks in the middle of nowhere. We did a 7.5km hike through and round parts of it. It was pretty tranquil and every now and then I'd try and slip away from the group for some peace time. Later on in the day and after numerous bus games and singing it was time to make the last few hours drive to near Uluru and find camp.

Home for the night was basically a flat stretch of grass in the middle of nowhere with a huge open bonfire in the centre and a swag (a thin mattress with a waterproof cover) each in a circle around it. For some strange reason (but I have my suspicions, Patrick moved his swag away from the group to be an easy target for the regular piss dashes to the bushes. Drinking was pretty tame tonight as most people went to bed early ready for Uluru tomorrow. Me and Christian made a valiant effort to stay up and keep other stragglers up but failed miserably so decided to join the majority for sleep.

Its an odd but wonderful feeling sleeping out in the open (without even a tent). I don't think there is a better way to sleep than slowly drift off whilst watching the stars and shooting stars in the big sky that is the grandest spectacle (but it was bloody cold). The only worry is when you hear strange noises in the night and wonder...what the hell was that? For the next week it's a few more days of fun on the tour then head to Darwin for a few days for what will be the last leg of my short Australia visit.

I'm sure I can speak on behalf of my bank manager in saying 'about bloody time..hurry up and get to Asia' (OK...I'll say it again...Australia is priceeeeeey). My first stop in Asia will be Denpasar in Indonesia...am getting well excited about this part of the trip.

There were more blurry eyes and grumpy people for our 5.30am wake up this morning. The last one on the bus was nearly forced to sing the 'Home' song in front of everyone but a new 8am law was introduced. First stop of the day was the King Canyon where we did a 9km hike (well, most of us did..some lightweights opted for the easy one). Some parts were pretty tough going and the temperature was a steady 42c (Dear God!). There were a few spots where me and the girls got lost so using my 6th sense of navigation and global positioning we got more lost (should know better)...but finally got back to base.

During all bus journeys there would be tons of games to keep us amused and also to decide who the champion of teams was. From what I remember we had; charades, bus bowling, road sign bashing (using poisonous ground melons), name that tune and loads more. Next up was the Aboriginal cultural centre and also the mighty Uluru. Uluru is a very important spiritual place for them and so non-initiated people should walk on or take pictures of some spots. This is according to Tjukurpa Law (Aboriginal Law).

I made the decision not to walk across it like so many tourists do and instead made the steady but tiring walk around the whole thing. Also, there have been a number of tourist deaths from falling off the thing which really upsets the locals. We all stopped off at some of the major spiritual spots (caves mostly). One of them was for young men waiting to be properly initiated into manhood and apparently they could wait for weeks on end while their families bring them basic food. Another cave was for the pregnant women to give birth in and this cave in particular was taboo to be seen by the men folk (which is why photos shouldn't be taken). Saw quite a few amazing shapes and structures during the walk and eventually after 3 hours reached the sanctuary of the van.

Then it was a swift drive to try and catch the sunset near Uluru so we could see the colours changing on the rock itself. Sadly the sunset was a no-shower..it seemed the sun had disappeared altogether. Quite a number of other tour groups showed up to see the spectacle and once again we proved we were the best group in town with our scallywagging, singing and joking around. The theme tune of this trip is without doubt Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire (what a tune) and when we lined up we sang a rowdy version of it attracting the attention of all other crowds.

Patrick introduced us to a new drinking game called Streetfighter (yes...based on the game). Everyone stands in a circle and throws an imaginary power ball at others one at a time...using special moves. Really good fun. Tonight was the main party night and the event that could decide the winning team. We were competing in a group singing contest. Our team, the FUKUS pondered Wonderwall, then Hotel California but finally Coleen came out with an original idea of using the Old McDonald tune and changing a few bits to be more Aussie.

So, after dinner and a few beers the tension was getting worse and worse and teams were near breaking point. First up was Team Kiwi with a traditional (and beautiful, it must be said) Kiwi song. Then it was Team Wallabies with a shockingly bad rendition of No Woman No Cry (nobody had bothered to check that the intro to the song was a few minutes of instrumental...doh). A Team sang a traditional German number but in 3 different languages (commendable). The Emu's did Queens We Will Rock You and broke down when they all couldn't read the written lyrics (written by Nicola's fair hand I imagine). Last but not least was The FUKUS. We rocked, and although I fluffed my lines a few times we stole the show.

The rest of the night was about drinking and playing drinking games (the truth game came into it at one point). Oh, and a real cracker of a game was called 'I love my little monkey' (I'm not gonna give anything away but it was funnnnny).

A verrrry early rise and we all felt like shit but we had a sunrise to catch...the only one that wasn't a disaster (we hoped). It was a particularly cold morning and we all huddled in sleeping bags while waiting for the sun. Success, it came up in a glorious red sheen and it all looked bootiful...very boooootiful. As usual the mood was good on the bus; songs sung, stories told and people teased. One story that had me crying with laughter was from Nicola (one of those where you had to be there).

She mentioned how embarrassing it was when you walk side by side with someone (especially the same sex) and your hands accidentally touch. Her brother told her how he walking across the road with his boss one day, on the way to a meeting and while they were busy checking traffic and such their hands accidentally clasped each others. Now normally you'd be all embarrassed and let go instantly but for some reason they didn't know what to do because it was just too much...so they continued walking hand in hand. Eventually they somehow unclasped but I really wonder how that meeting went down? (sigh...has me laughing just writing it now).

Another team competition we had was the Weetabix Challenge where the chosen member of the team would have to eat a dry Weetabix in the quickest time. Surprisingly they're bloody hard to eat dry and the best time in the end was one minute and twenty seconds. At our lunch stop and to the dismay of all the others (it was my fault actually), Tom went off into the bush with a shovel to find us some Bush Tucker. Eventually he came back with two big Wichita Grubs (yep...similar to the ones in 'I'm a Celebrity...Get Me out of Here'. They were a slightly different species though so wouldn't taste any good eaten raw. I toyed with the idea but said no in the end. Instead Tom fried them up and distributed them around. The taste was pretty bad..bit like a kind of fishy eggy texture and flavour.

Time to head back and after a long and tiring drive we got back to the hostel where the dreams of hot showers and beer were fulfilled (such simple pleasures after living a bit rough for only 2 nights). The rest of the night was pure drinking (including Tequila's) and a really good night was had by all (of course Street Fighter was played again).

Had about one hours sleep last night and was feeling rougher than a meerkats arse all day. Trotted into town with the human sloth that is Halgas (dammit he's a slow walker). Then met up with the girls for a visit to the local Reptile House where we all had snakes and lizards hanging off our shoulders. Me and Stewart had a bus to Darwin to catch later on at 7.45 so we all rushed to the supermarket and bought some Fajeto's ingredients and had a slap up dinner together. I was well sad to say goodbye to the remaining Uluru team of the girls and Christian but all good things must come to an end...can't stay on a tour and as a group forever suppose. We organised a meet up in Darwin anyway (nice). The bus ride was a bit of a monster one at 22 hours and freezing during the night.

At the end of the day we finally arrived in Darwin. Checked into Chilli's hostel and me and Stewart went straight out for some dinner and bevies Darwin's quite the buzzing place full of bars, clubs and backpackers. We saved the big night out for tomorrow when the girls get here.

Today me and Stewart were on a mission...it was to find some kind of beach (reason being it was bloody hot). After hours of endless walking around, even passing through some major building sites we finally found it and chilled for a while. Unfortunately we both forgot our swimming gear (doh!). Anyway, Darwin's waters are notorious for having all sorts of critters and such in it...like..erm, saltwater crocs, lethal jellyfish and sharks (so wasn't that gutted and bravely dipped my toes in the water).

Caught the bus back to town and did some internet stuff. In particular I needed to confirm my flight out of here. Sweet Jesus, the only available flight to Bali using my Round the World Tickets was on 21st July (if I stay here as long as that I'll be both bankrupt and have no liver left). Will have to sort out some cheap flights using another company or fly somewhere else instead of Bali (tomorrow). The lovely Fiona and Rachel turned up from their 22 hour train ride and we all went for dinner and muchos drinkos at the Vic Hotel (local backpacker hangout). It got messy when Stewart ordered the first round of Tequila's...nooooooooooooo.

We all had a good night of boogying on tabletops and such and watched a few rounds of girl jelly wrestling (should be an olympic sport in my opinion...may have to send the Olympic Committee a letter).

I was seriously a bear with a sore head this morning (for the love of God...no..never again will I drink Tequila!). Today was supposed to be my leaving Australia day but still no joy with a cheap flight. When my head clears I'll have to re-double my efforts. Spent pretty much the whole day sitting out on the hostel's cold water jacuzzi patio chilling and sunbathing. I think the others felt equally rough. After a few hours of relentless Northern Territory sunshine I had to crawl back to bed.

Darwin really is all about the drink and fun but as Rob said to me, if all the backpackers upped and decided never to come here it would turn into a desolate town. Most of the backpackers do seem to be Brit's doing the Australia tour...so quite a lively spot. In the evening me, Fiona and Rachel went to catch a flick at the local outdoor cinema (Deckchair Cinema). A very new thing for me but very nice indeed. The film on show was Brick Lane. Now I say very nice...it could have been lovely if it wasn't for a certain incident I will explain.

There were warnings up everywhere saying to keep your food off the ground because there was an abundance of Possums running around when the lights dim. Of course we took note and duly moved all food. Halfway during the film as I was munching on a piece of Pita bread with dip I felt a tugging at the base of my trousers. Hello, I thought...my lucks in here (I was sitting between the two girls). But in reality I then felt claws scramble up my leg and something pounced on me and started grabbing at my Pita bread. Now in the dark I thought 'Awwww, he's kinda furry and cute' but when I saw a picture of him taken by Rachel with a flash it turned out to be a gammy looking thing with bloody claws and disfigured nose. Anyway, so I managed to half lift, half throw the little scamp off my lap. Next thing he's grabbing for the bags of food. So thinking we're kind of on good terms now I flicked him with my finger to get him off...so he sunk his dirty big teeth into my finger (the little shit) and drew a bit of blood. Thankfully there's no rabies in Australia. Fiona and Rachel were laughing their heads off (obviously only when he was sitting on my lap staring at me and the bread). Don't remember much of the film after that.

Tomorrow's main event is a day tour of Lichfield Park, full of waterfalls, croc infested rivers and termite mounds. This, for $95 was my last big splurge in Aus...no more. Early night for me and most others.

Today's the Lichfield Park day and an early 7am start for me and Stewart (the girls went on a different tour). First stop was the jumping crocs on the Adelaide River. Caught a small boat with our own Crocodile Dundee character (without the cool clothes). The guide would dangle chunks of meat and huge 5 metre crocs would circle it a bit then jump into the air (half its body out of water) and grab it. Apparently the best thing to do if you fall into a croc infested river is stay still (bloody hell...not very likely...I'd be swimming like a loon).

Next was a good splash about in some beautiful waterfalls and pools...gorgeous (although I nearly knocked myself out walking barefoot across a particularly slippery rock). Did the classic jump in the air, feet first but luckily a puddle of water broke my heads fall (nice). Later on in the day our last stop was a field of Termite mounds (Cathedral Mounds and Magnetic Mounds apparently). They were bloody massive and a whole field of them looked like a graveyard with headstones.

Well knackered, I chilled out in the TV room and chatted to the girls and Stewart for a bit. The plan for the next week is...get the hell out of here here asap (not in a bad way...will give a run down of Oz and NZ next update). Not sure where I'll be flying to but Bali looks unlikely as its school holidays now and all the Aussie's fly there. Plan B is to fly to the Philippines and then work my way down. It actually makes more sense that way so I won't be backtracking. So in next weeks entry I would already be in the Far East....awesome.

Finally...I've managed to book a flight out of here for tomorrow. Not the destination as planned but still cool. The only one I could get that was slightly on my itinerary was to Singapore and then on to Manila (Philippines). From there I'll head slowly towards Indonesia. Typical, on my last day here I've come down with a kind of flu (sore throat, sneezing and headache)...probably from the excellent but cold Uluru trip and the swimming yesterday. Feeling really shitty I did what I normally do when I'm illin, and that's get a room to myself and just chill in bed. Nothing personal against my cellma...erm, dorm mates but I need peace.

One of my dorm mates is a hilarious 7 foot (built like a brick shit house) Hell's Angel. He told me quite a few tales and I told him a few of mine. Really top bloke but after something that happened in the dorm room the other night he has the power to pull a favour or two any time (nothing serious but he jibes me about it all the time...wise guy...every morning he'd holler out 'Hey guys...has everyone heard what happened to Rowley the other night', just in case any new arrivals didn't know).

So, while Stewart, Fiona and Rachel had a celebratory dinner and drinks (the girls were leaving tomorrow) I was tucked up snugly in bed reading, cursing my luck and generally feeling pissed off that I could get a cold in such a hot climate.

My last day in Darwin...well, in Australia really and I've got mixed feelings about it all but will explain in more detail later on. As things stand I'm getting really excited about the next stage of the trip...the Far East...(a big 'nice' with a chocolate topping and lots of marshmallows on top). Spent the whole day wandering around the hostel (in a state of flueyness). Am well glad to be out of the fascist hostel that is Chilli's (which my new Hell's Angel bud Mike likens to being inside. Even muttering one morning 'Fuck this...I'd rather be locked up than spend another night in this shithole...and promptly phones around his mates and got a trailer all on his own sorted out in the sticks. Would quite happily have joined the fellah but Asia beckons.

The hostel's not that bad as things go but everything costs (a lot) and needs a deposit: cutlery, cups, internet, towels...you name it, it has a deposit. And..the real shocker...no alcohol allowed on the premises (how dare you!!!!???) (apparently the people to blame for this are a group of English (sigh) who got so pissed, one of them nearly drowned in a cold water spa that is only 1 foot deep (donuts). Said my farewells to a few of the others here and started the long night of flights via Singapore and Philippines Everything was going rosily until I tried to board my flight from Singapore to Manila. The idiots at the Cebu Pacific desk refused to let me on the flight unless I had an onward ticket. I know for a fact that the Philippines immigration don't give a monkeys about that but it's just a way for the airlines to get money from tourists (damn them). After much debate and arguing I finally had to bite the bullet and buy a return ticket (on the promise that it was refundable at no extra cost to me).

Now, the beginning of the flight to Manila was your standard affair of sleep, food and reading but as we started approaching the Philippines the turbulence started getting worse and worse. Being a hardened skydiver with one dive under my belt I was OK in the beginning. The plane was really being thrown around like a toy and my palms were getting sweatier and sweatier (what the pilot..or anyone for that matter forgot to mention was that the Philippines was being pounded by a 45 knot wind hurricane (I found this out after landing...Dear God).

The landing itself was the worst ever for me..the wings wobbled and at one point I was so sure they'd hit the runway. But, the pilot being a genius and black belt 15th Dan in flying we landed safely.