South America - Brazil

At 6.30am I walked into town and got a shared taxi to the border ($2.50). While I was waiting for the Venezuelan border to open I pondered my time in Venezuela. I've got mixed feelings about the place..it's a pretty rough place but with quite a lot to see (mountains, beaches, jungle, beautiful girls. I don't like to generalise but I didn't find the people particularly friendly and didn't feel particularly safe in the towns (mind you, I only visited two of the main places (Merida and Canaima)). Although it's not one of my favourite countries I'm still a bit sad to leave. And so after 4 hours of queuing at immigration a slightly newer chapter opens in my travels.

I feel like I'm starting all over again as I talk to Brazilians crossing the border and don't understand a single word they're saying. The Spanish I'd painstakingly learned in the last 5 months (and gotten quite good at) was kind of irrelevant now. Ok, there are some slight similarities with Portuguese but not that much. I'm hoping that some Brazilians speak or understand Spanish. So armed with the solid foundation of knowing one word in Portuguese (Obrigado...thanks) I entered Brazil.

Apart from the language the Brazilians generally look lighter in skin colour than their Venezuelan cousins (they also look cooler). A quick stop at the bank to get some Brazilian Real's and then a 3 hour bus ride later and I was in Boa Vista. The plan was to stay here at least for today so I could call my Mum on her birthday and also see if I can book an Amazon trip from here instead of the touristy Manaus. Well, both plans backfired. I hunted high and low for an internet place where I could use Skype to call my Mum on her big day but couldn't find any with a decent connection. Eventually managed to use my mobile for a brief call. Also searched for some tour operators but the only few I could find didn't have enough tourists in town to justify a trip.

Looks like I'll have to head to Manaus for some Amazon trekking after all. Checked into a cheap hotel (had a huuuuge room for $12) and then walked around town. Not really much going on here but its quite a nice place with wide, tree lined streets. Tired from the bus ride and the scorching heat here (everything closes between 2 and 4pm because of the heat) I headed back to my base and did some blog updates and sifter through my millions of photos of Angel Falls.

Slightly disappointed that I couldn't find a tour operator that could take me to the less touristy part of the Amazon I tried again (no luck again). Apparently the rain forest around these parts is more diverse (ah well). For lunch I headed to a local restaurant and sat down. After twiddling my thumbs for 10 minutes and finally realising it was self service I experienced my first pay per kilo meal. After topping up a plate with some great grub a girl then weighs it and you pay per weight (genius). Later on I finally managed to post the postcards and Xmas cards I'd been lugging around with me since Costa Rica. God bless the Brazil postal service.

After a siesta it was time to head for the bus terminal. Bought a ticket for the 6pm (12 hour) overnight bus to Manaus ($40...Holy shit...I heard travel was pricey here but....). While I was waiting for my bus I got chatting to Elvis, an old fellah who sells ice creams from a fridge on wheels who told me his life story. He'd lived in the US illegally for the last 14 years with his wife and 3 kids. One day his best friend sat him down and told him he had something to tell him about his wife. Bringing out his mobile he showed him a video of his wife and told him for the last 10 years she had been actively involved in making online porn and as well as that was selling her services to the local church (including its minister)(poor fella..and no, I didn´t ask him for proof). So he decided to leave the US and came back to Brazil to start a new life. Regretting his decision now he is trying to get back again. Apparently he used to earn $4000 a month as a cleaner in the US whereas here he gets $200 a month selling ice creams. Not that good considering his rent is $40, food $70 and bills $45. Elvis seemed like a nice bloke and he didn't want anything from me except someone to talk to about his life but after listening to him for an hour and totally exhausted from hearing his troubles I jumped on the 6pm bus.

Preparing myself for another monster bus ride of 12 hours I curled up in 2 seats praying that nobody had booked the seat next to me. Two hours later and after numerous pokes in the face I was woken up and sadly lost my VIP seating arrangement and resigned myself to not getting much sleep tonight. The last 2 entries are in fact being written after a nights sleep deprivation (I now know what the fellah in Bravo two Zero felt like...well, kinda).

The plan for the next week is 2 or 3 days on a jungle trip to the Amazon forest (trekking, piranha fishing, canoeing) then catch a 3 day boat ride down the Amazon river to a coastal town called Belem. Then as quickly as possible (fly or bus it) head to Fortuleza for some beach action. From there I'm flying down to Rio, putting on my Salsa shoes and will be reveling in the carnival for my birthday.

Arrived in Manaus exhausted from the bus ride and at the un-godly hour of 6am. This is quite a bustling city at the centre of the Amazon (quite an odd feeling..surrounded by thousands of miles of forest but in a big city). Couldn't find any budget hotels in the guidebook so going against my better judgment and instincts I asked the cab driver to recommend one (cheapest in the book is $25).Just as I should have guessed I was taken to a fairly dodgy hotel with the very misleading name of Hotel Continental (it certainly wasn't continental and come to think of it it may not have even been a hotel). At $18 a night it was fairly cheap (I later discovered a few hostels with dorms at $10..doh).

After a swift pint of coffee courtesy of the manager just to get the brain cells working I went to check on an Amazon jungle tour. The manager of the Continental (nice fellah) almost refused to let me leave without getting a cab (yep, the internationally renowned Continental was slap bang in the middle of the dock area and a tad dodgy for a lone westerner. Course its kind of ok in the daytime but after 8pm the whole place changes character. The manager was just being cautious.

As a compromise he called a budget tour company (Gero tours) and 10 minutes later Gero himself turned up. There were two tour options; Option1, $50 a day but is only 30km from Manaus and less likely to see wild animals..Option 2, $70 a day but is 100km away and more wildlife. As I wanted to see something kinda real I chose 2. I went for the 3 day tour and it all kicks off tomorrow morning at 8am. After a brief kip at the hotel I decided it was time to break free from the SS Camp Continental and dashed out past Gruppenfuhrer Francesco (the manager). It was pretty rough and dusty by the docks but after walking around I got my bearings and made my way to the nicer part of town for some sightseeing.

Had a look at the famous Opera House (hard to imagine..in the middle of the Amazon..and even more weird for me was that Fatboy Slim had a gig on there tomorrow. Paid Gero the tour money and mentioned that I needed a hammock for my Amazon River trip to which he responded by driving me to the hammock selling area, bought me a coke and dropped me back at the hotel (what a service).

Snuck out again for dinner and a few beers and got back just in time before the 8pm curfew started.

Today begins the Amazon jungle tour and so armed with an armful of biscuits, water and insect repellant I met the rest of the group at 8am in town. There was Eugenie (a friendly Austrian girl and her German boyfriend Christian, two funny English girls; Meera and Dijlay and our guide Joshua. After a 30 minute drive to the port area it was onto a small boat to get us across the river.

Stopped in the middle for a while and watched the meeting of the rivers' Amazon and Negro. Quite an obvious colour difference between them (Amazon light brown and Negro black) but where they meet there is no mixing, just a jagged line. Then a hair raising high speed drive in a combi van to another boat (a small wooden canoe) and so started the real trip into the Amazon. 40 minutes of amazing views; rainforest, reeds, birds, sardines and dolphins hopping about. After settling in and testing my hammock and scoffing a delicious lunch it was time for our first recce trip with the group. The canoe we used was so precarious I thought it would tip at any moment.

During the 3 hour boat glide and with the help of our indigenous guide Francesco and our main guide Joshua we managed to spot loads of wildlife on our first day (pink dolphins, a baby gray dolphin, piranha, sardines, turkey vultures, red macaws, toucans (boy am I glad I finally spotted one of those) and squirrel monkeys. Also spotted a bird that I can't remember the name of but apparently its the scurge of the bird kingdom here. All the other birds (even the bigger ones) are scared of it because if it doesn't like the look of you it'll drive you nuts for hours on end by flying right up to you, making loud shrill noises then flitting off (repeat 50 times and imagine how annoying that is).

At one point Joshua asked if anyone wanted a swim and just to hop in if we felt like it. At first I thought this was some kind of test (bloody piranha and alligators everywhere) but trusted the guide and like a true Aquarian hopped in. It was very refreshing but I was well para about what was lurking below.

During the boat ride back saw a beautiful sunset of vivid colours and a huge sky. Dinner and a few rounds of shit head to round off the evening. At 10pm the generator gets switched off so an early night for everyone.

Early, hearty breakfast the it was time for a rainforest walk. Nothing prepared me for the amount of Mosquito's everywhere (millions of the buggers). Even with a long-slieved top, socks tucked in to trousers, a hat and gallons of DEET mosquito repellant the little shits still got through. It wasn't a tough walk but because it was well humid we all sweated loads. The problem with that being if you douse yourself in repellant after 5 minutes it would wash off in streams of sweat..and that's when the mosquito air force would really strike. No area of the body was safe from them; eyelids, inside ears and nose, through socks, trousers and shirt. These bastards had feeders made of titanium, I swear to God. Poor Meera got stung right in the corner of her eye..well painful looking.

Saw loads of rainforest plants, flowers, fruit and other goodies; Quinine bark (used in Tonic water and has a Malaria treating property), the bark used as the main scent for Chanel 5 and Poison, a fruit that looked really tasty (bright red and yellow but highly poisonous), Brazil nuts (in its original form coming from a coconut-like shell and once hacked open there are around 20 neatly intersected nuts..my favourite nut by the way).

Saw a few animals around; Squirrel monkeys, Leaf Frogs (really hard to spot..and yes they look just like leaves), a huge Crab spider (has 10 legs, hairy and the size of my hand) and at one point in our walk Joshua sprinted off into the forest like a man possessed. We thought he'd gone mental or somethng but it turns out he was scaring a Wild pig away (they can get very aggressive and if you get attacked the best bet is scrambling up a tree like a rocket. Back at base and exhausted from it was time for lunch and a siesta.

Managed to swap my precious and newly finished book City of God (shocking book and arguably better than the film) for The Secret Agent (Joseph Conrad). This afternoons adventure was Piranha fishing so armed with some home made rods and cups of fresh meat we set off in the dugout canoe. 15 minutes into the ride the skies opened up and we were forced to take shelter in the local pub (a wooden shack built on the side of the water). I say pub..it was really just a room with a pool table, some music blaring and a few lashed up locals prancing around. Back to the fishing. Piranha fishing is pretty straightforward; hook the meat, drop the line in the water and tug quickly at random times. Most of the time the meat would be snatched from the hook and disappear within seconds. I got 2 catches in the end but only tiddlers so they were chucked back again. Francesco and Joshua on the other hand caught loads. The prize for the biggest catch went to Joshua who caught a whopper. The fish in question was tossed to the back of the boat for Francesco to look after but being slippery things he dropped it and it landed just below my feet (I was wearing sandals at the time) and at one point flipped itself so high it nearly grabbed me by the bollocks (I nearly forgot where I was and jumped out of the canoe).

Back to base and our freshly caught Piranha was found on our dinner plates for tonight's meal (pretty delicious but a tad bony). Had a good laugh with Meera and Dijlay and a joint travel venture may be on the cards (really good girls). Tonight, although I paid for hammock sleeping I snuck into an empty bed and had a blinder of a sleep.

Last day of the Amazon today and felt a bit gloomy. The group was trying to convince me to stay another day (quite successfully too) but in the end my thoughts on budget got the better of me. We all hopped on our familiar canoe and headed out to a local family house to get some kind of idea how the locals live. The family house was a wooden house built on stilts (preventing flood damage).

We sat down and Joshua explained some of the details of their way of life: main food is Manyok which is supplemented with fish or meat. If necessary fish is sold to get more Manyok. Couples usually have five to ten kids . A village has roughly 50 people in it. At 2pm back at base it was time for goodbye hugs as I was going back to Manaus. Will hopefully meet up with the 2 girls at Carnaval. After numerous van and boat trips I arrived back in Manaus and was met by Gero.

He dropped me back at the tour office and said I could sleep there for the night to save some money (result with a capital Ree). Was also invited to a family dinner with his wife and had some tasty beef curry.

Had to get up well early so the office could open up at 7am. Leaving my pack there I headed off into the labyrinthine streets near the docks to see when the next boat leaves down the Amazon to Belem. I was hoping there would be one today but the next one due to leave was the NW Santerem (a sturdy looking ship but a tad frayed round the edges). I bought my hammock class ticket straight from the captain ($90...saved myself $40 by doing that). As an additional bonus I could sleep on the boat tonight and save myself more hotel fees. Also, its recommended that hammock spaces are reserved (by simply hanging it where you want at least 6 hours before the ship leaves) otherwise you could end up right next to the toilet or a door.

So after saying adios to Gero and his great hospitality I trundled off to buy a hammock, some emergency food and water, then made the good ship my home for the night. There were about 20 other people with the same idea and I spent a pleasant evening chilling and swaying on the hammock and chatting to my new neighbours. The only drawback was a 8pm curfew in the dock area so everyone had to be in the the ship by then.

Dinner was a very basic bit of bread, tinned tuna and tomatoes and I watched the port activity and stars. There's a big cruise ship here in port with streams of old tourist coming and going. As I lay in my hammock dropping off I thought to myself..this is going to be allright...a very relaxing trip (sigh..how foolish I was...).

The day the fine ship NW Santerem sets off. I felt well slept and in good spirits waking at 5.30am. Then at 6am the hordes started coming and to my horror I could see any spare space disappearing like a flash. The ship has three floors; lower level (2nd class hammock space and storage), 1st level (1st class hammock space and cabins), 2nd level (1st class cabins...for the losers really). Word spread that we were shipping out at 12 instead of 4pm so good spirits all round. By 11am the place was heaving with hammocks and some in just the stupidest positions (across windows, in front of doorways).

Also on the scene now was Commandant Gertrude who was in charge of hammock spacing (she took no prisoners). A frail looking old lady but she had balls and would shout at the burliest fellah and rip his hammock off its line if she didn't like it. Quite a mix of people here; families, couples, young, old and loads of Spanish tourists for some reason. At 11.30 3 Yanks on motorbikes rolled up and to the dismay of all aboard they were to be loaded onto the boat. It took 10 people and 2 hours to finish this mammoth task. I have only slept one night in the hammock and honestly can't even think about another 4 days of it. Well, I'll have to.

The hammocks have no space between them so no proper diagonal sleeping is possible and if one of my neighbours so much as breaths it vibrates throughout the line. This kind of life really isn't for the claustrophobic or the those in need of personal space. The afternoon went pretty quickly as we chugged along between the Amazon forest either side of us. Even at this point the Amazon is very wide. Shared some biscuits and coke with my hammock neighbours (and vice versa) but my sorry excuse for Portuguese put a halt to any real conversation. I'm going to make a valiant effort to learn some of it as quickly as possible.

Dinner was the usual Tuna and biscuits (the boat's included meals don't start until tomorrow) and then a 5 minute military assault course through hammock rope and people just to get to my hammock for sleep. Tonight I predict a dream about being a tinned sardine.

(sigh) the life of a tinned sardine is a harsh one. No sleep last night. During a late night stop more people arrived and slung hammocks everywhere, blocking off windows and doorways. I was so wired last night that around 2am I had a feeling my hammock had grown wider so muttering a quiet hurrah! I slid my upper body across to get comfy. A big mistake..it was my neighbours hammock that looked kind of like mine. So at 2am most of the hammock sleepers were woken by the sound of a thud and the shout and moan of a tired English fellah falling onto a heaven sent suitcase (would have been a hard fall otherwise). Of course on the way down I nearly took my neighbour with me and swore blind to him (as best I could) that I wasn't trying to sneak into his hammock (very embarrassing night and everyone had got up to watch these shenanigans). Red faced I clambered back into my hammock making a mental note to move places when the opportunity arises.

At 5.30am the ship was abuzz with activity as screaming kids (the scurge of the hammock world and families woke up to the next day (what the hell are they getting up so early for). I felt really shitty this morning as I munched on my breakfast roll and drank coffee and thought and laughed about this whole situation. Then I had a kind of epiphany (must be over tiredness) but I realised then this was a unique experience, not hugely enjoyable yet but special anyway.

My fellow hammockers are a really friendly lot, especially when they recognise you as sharing the hammock room. As for scenery there isn't much to see really much to see because the rivers so wide. Most days as I stand on the ships rail all I can see is loads of water, trees in the distance and a lot of flotsam in the yellow waters. The highlight of this morning was watching a cool young dude with headphones on stumble coming into the hammock doorway and bouncing off hammocks to end up in the same place again (funny to see it live). I'm using this time of chilling to do some travel planning for my next steps of these travels. At some point I'm going to have to fly in Brazil (its just such a huge country...same size as the US (without Alaska of course).

Lunchtime was a monster queue for our first proper meal (40 minutes queue but worth it..the foods really good). Then on returning to my hammock I realised there was more space so I moved my hammock and had a siesta. Was woken up when my new neighbour, a young fellah I have nicknamed the elbow kid kept elbowing me in the face (not intentionally). After about 5 times I lost it with him and hurled abuse (I shouldn't have really) to which he just grinned but stopped.

At one of the smaller stops an ambitious fellah decided to go shopping on land but taking too long he came out onto the dock to see the ship already leaving. Everyone on deck was egging him on to run and jump but he just stood there looking helpless and waving his arms in the air. Fifteen minutes later a small motor boat taxi pulled up with the sheepish fellah 20 Real's out of pocket for his small shopping trip. This was the afternoons entertainment and is still being talked about in the evening.

Crap, have just heard we won't be arriving in Belem until Sunday (a day later than we thought). Sweet Jesus, can I keep my sanity. There is growing unrest on the ship and talk of taking control of the good ship and throwing the captain overboard (just to alleviate the boredom).

Tonight's main event was dinner and a passport check at a small port. All the tourist had to get off the ship and all the locals had a good laugh watching us get checked. The plan for the next week is survive this trip then head to Salvador for a day or two then RIO!!!!! for the Carnaval.

Because of boredom the Captain and crew have now been thrown overboard and we have taken control of the good ship Santerem. Cannibalism is fast approaching (well, it would have been quite interesting if it was true). Slept ok last night as the Elbow Kid has stopped poking me in the face. At 5.30am it was all go as the ship docked in Santerem (roughly the halfway point) and unloaded loads of cargo and people. Hurrah! We all shouted as loads of people unhooked their hammocks and left but sadly we also loaded extra people and the spaces soon filled. I decided to move my hammock at this point and settled in a spacious spot.

One of the best things about this floating prison of ours is the comradery. Everyone spends a lot of time out on deck having a joke around with the crew out on deck. Apart from some tourists (young Argentinian couple, young French couple (cycling around South America), 5 Spaniards and a big group of noisy English) there are quite a few Brazilian characters: a small Brazilian fellah who's always lashed by midday and keeps lighting up inside the hammock area (all the mothers and young girls scream at him and throw him out every time). There's also an old lady who has a devil of a grand daughter who wreaks havoc around the ship by throwing all the plastic cups in the river, closing all doors and windows in the excessive heat, kicking hammocks during siestas. Also a young couple who have a double hammock in the midst of all the families in here and get up to all sorts of hanky panky (the older folk usually tut away). A cool young dude who could quite easily be in the film City of God who always buys jewellery and watches from vendors and shows them off to the young girls on the ship (pulling out huge wads of cash) and his sidekick (the Elbow Kid).

Stopped off at two small docks today while I was sunning on the roof. When I came back to my hammock I was well pissed off to find the place fuller than even before. The hammocks were now on 2 levels around mine (no margin for even climbing into it). Noticing a few habits of the Brazilians round here; they all throw their rubbish into the river (its only the tourists who use the bins), they all spit..men, women, children (it seems to be a Latin American thing...have noticed it as far as Mexico), they are all patient and generous giving up hammock space even if they know full well that they won't get any sleep because of it and sharing food. They also have no inhibitions about talking to people . Everyone pretty much knows everyone else around here even after just 3 days together (mind you I do too).

The boat docked somewhere small at 4.30am so I was woken up by sellers moving around the ship shouting 'banana....queso!!'. Last night was a very restless nights sleep for me, what with the sellers waking me up and a new family next to me whose 6 year old has the loudest and highest pitched voice on the ship and regularly screams, shouts and sings in my ears (her hammock is level with mine). Saw some beautiful Dolphins gliding along the side of the ship today and two Toucans flying side by side.

Last night the captain was kept busy as we went through a patch of the river that was narrow so he used his Batman like spotlight to scan the waters and shoreline for a safe path. It would have been great to catch this spot during the day to spot some wildlife.

Straight after breakfast I jumped back into my hammock and slept like a log waking up in time for lunch. Everyone is in good spirits now as it's our last day on board. After a spot of sunning on deck we started to enter a part of the Amazon called the Narrows which for me was the most scenic part of this trip. I could actually see the trees and plants up close and every now and then there would be a scattering of small wooden huts with small piers. Out from these would come an armada of around 7 wooden canoes carrying kids, Amazonian women and blokes. At first I thought the good ship Santarem was under attack but they came armed only with shrimp and fruit so all was good. They would speed up alongside, throw a hooked rope and tow themselves along while they sell their wares. A bag of shrimp (maybe 2 kg) would sell for 50p. Some of these canoes weren't selling but were plain poor so people on our ship would toss bags of food into the water for them. I joined in by tossing my last packet of biccies and a Pot Noodle (nearly hitting one of them on the head in the process).

The afternoon was spent Toucan and Dolphin spotting and chatting to my travel mates. I think I'm getting worse with remembering names..bit of a worry with my 38th coming up. After dinner it was sunset watching and contemplation time. I am so (so with a capital So) looking forward to the end of this experience but will also miss it somehow.

One thing I have learnt from this trip is that personal space isn't that important but patience is. When you sleep with a strangers toe or armpit near your nose or an elbow resting on your chin, or a child waking you up at 4.30am singing loud Brazilian lullabies right next to your ear or someone's knee in your back from the hammock below or you have to climb out of your hammock nearly breaking your neck just to let somebody into theirs. I wouldn't be that keen to do this trip again but can't detract from the fact that it was a wonderful experience. From my point of view its not about the river or the wildlife but all about the people on the ship and who live in the Amazon. I have watched Brazilians sleep, eat, talk, chat up, joke around and look after their kids. Not once in this confined space did I see anyone lose it, raise their voice or act aggressively in any way (well, apart from a stupid English fellah who was elbowed in the face).

Another great thing about this trip is watching the stars from the perfect spot at the front of the ship (bow..or stern, can't remember its proper name). The size of the sky and brightness of the stars is amazing. Loads of shooting stars and satellites whizzing through the sky. Tonight was party night...celebrating the last night on board and also Saturday night. All the backpackers made a valiant effort to join in the revelries on top deck but the music was awful and the crowd manic so we all ended up in a quiet spot chatting.

Had a bloody good kip last night in row 1, 3rd hammock and as usual the place was abuzz with activity at 5.30am (why everyone gets up so early here I honestly don't know...there's nowhere to go?). After the usual breakfast of super sweet tea and a roll everyone was overly excited about walking on dry land and sleeping in a proper bed again (I dread to think what it's like on a sub out on a months patrol). I must have been too caught up in the excitement but I vowed that I'd kiss the ground when we landed (bad idea, as I was to find out later the port is in the middle of a Favella).

All morning people were munching away on their last bits of food and giving out anything left over to strangers. By 11am we hit a very bad patch of weather in the wider part of the Amazon. The storm lasted for an hour and there was a lot of yacking in that time. My natural reaction as usual was to jump in my hammock and fall asleep (worked a treat).

At 1pm the HMS Royal Santarem docked and after such a joyous feeling of finishing this voyage I realised that I'm going to miss this bloody hunk of metal and its inhabitants. After very good pretense of kissing the filthy, cockroach ridden ground (as promised) everyone got a cab to town (driving through the Favella). My plan for today was to drop my bags somewhere in Belem town and then head to the airport to see if I can get a cheap ticket to Salvador (where I'll stay until the 30th, then head to Rio).First me and the boat gang needed food and after hearing tales of wonderful fresh fish served in the market we headed there. Sadly the torrential rains had put a stop to the normal market but there were a few vendors cooking fish. For $2.50 I got a huge fish, rice, salad and beans and a coke (result).

Later on (not relating to the fish though) one of our number had to be taken to the hospital. She had a fever of 103 and felt like she was dying. Later on another member had the same. As explained by the doctor this was bad food poisoning from dodgy water on the boat and sharing utensils etc. In the early evening I headed to the airport praying I could get a flight out of the dump that is Belem. Sadly the prices were Carnaval prices ($400 to Salvador) but I managed to get a ticket from Salvador to Rio for $170 so I shuffled off back to the hostel ready to get a bus tomorrow. A 33 hour journey that costs $130 awaited me tomorrow (again..Carnaval prices). When I got back I heard the bad news that the young French cyclists from the boat trip had been mugged at knife point right outside the hostel door (they lost all their valuables..passports, tickets, money, camera, pictures etc.). This was just as it was getting light. Mind you, the hostel is in a dodgy side of town.

Tonight was budget sleeping night and for the princely sum of $5 I get a dorm bed for the night. Had a dream that I was hosting a hammock burning party but it got out of hand when people started burning pillows and blankets (what the hell does that mean?).

It's official...Belem is a dump. On arriving here yesterday everyone remarked on what a shithole it was. Ok, it was Sunday and the streets were empty but the buildings and streets left a bad impression. At 8am and after bidding farewell to my fellow ship prisoners me, Pablo and his missus (really nice Argentinian couple) got a bus to the bus terminal. There was a small worry that there'd be no seats left on the bus during Carnaval but by chance there were 3 seats left which were nabbed and we spent the rest of the day chilling in the waiting area.

When the bus did arrive I noted how unworthy of the $130 price tag it was. During this long and tricky bus journey I decided that I wasn't going to spend much more time in Brazil. Love the place but it's very expensive for everything.

So during the bus ride from hell I planned the rest of my South America leg, which goes as follows: 9 more days in Brazil, then head south through Argentina, then making my way up through Bolivia, Peru and finally flying from Chile. I have 5 weeks to do this.

The landscape throughout the bus journey had some nice bits but most of it was semi desert and flat. Everyone kept themselves busy by chatting, playing chess or cards or listening to music.

Bus from hell day 2. Nothing to report except I've lost all feeling in my bum cheeks, left leg and lower back. The music helps these journeys so much (even though I only have a 3 hour battery life on my MP3). Listening to Lemon Jelly's Staunton Lick, DB Boulevard's Point of View and 50 Cent's P.I.M.P.

Arrived in Salvador at the awful time of 1.30am. Streets were deserted and the bus terminal looked well shady. Some of us caught a cab straight to the centre and I went straight to bed in the cheap hostel there. On waking up and checking my ticket I realised that my flight leaves at 12.50pm so I went for a short sharp tour of Salvador.

Walked around in the stifling heat and caught a few small bands playing in squares, saw some of the beautiful architecture and ploughed through the tourist market there. The people are very noticeably African in looks and style around these parts. There were still quite a few drunk peeps staggering around after last nights revelry. Sadly, after only a morning of traipsing around town I head to head to the airport.

To be honest, if I hadn't booked my 7 nights bed in Rio I probably would have stayed here for a few days more. The Carnaval is renowned for being excellent here and some say better even than Rio.

Arrived in Rio (well excited) and got a free pickup courtesy of the hostel. After 2 hours of traffic laden driving I arrived at what was going to be my home for a week. Shattered I struggled into my middle tier dorm bed right next to the bar and slept. Woken 3 hours later by a crazy burly red faced Australian fellah switching on the lights, shaking all the beds and shouting at full volume.

This was when I first met Shaun and my first impression was that I'm going to hate this fellah for the rest of the week. He did the same thing 3 more times that night and nearly brought me to breaking point. When he climbed into his dorm bed he nearly brought down the whole room and my 3 story bed nearly collapsed on me (what a way to go I thought..crushed to death by a dorm bed and a mad Aussie...). Needless to say I had no sleep that night in a hot, noisy room but the thought of Carnaval kept me happy all night and morning.

Ok, so I got no sleep last night but today the carnival starts proper. I hung around the hostel for a while and chatted to people about their plans and such. Armed with a beer I approached crazy Shaun and soon after a brief chat we were pals. So off we went for a scout around town and a trip to Ipanema beach with Carolina (nice Argentinian girl working at the hostel). Rio's definitely got a buzz about it and even the beaches are alive with excitement. The waves were tsunami like so not much swimming was done.

The girls..well, the girls on Ipanema beach and especially Post 9 (all the beaches in Rio have section numbers) are just eye poppingly gorgeous. Had a long chat with Carolina while Shaun was acting the goat in the water (nearly getting himself killed). Carnaval doesn't really kick off properly until tomorrow according to everyone so tonight was just a warm up. Had some drinks and got to know most people ready for Carnaval kickoff. There is a huge English contingent staying here; Jack, Nick, Goose, Will, Steve, Chris, Surekha and Krina (to name a few), then there's Shaun from Australia, a totally mad fellah from Norway called Stefan (small, skinny guy who has self dubbed himself 'My Precious' (Golem, from LOT Rings) and numerous other nationalities and characters.

Drinking continued throughout the night and the hostel was in full swing. Shaun as usual was the life of the party and had everyone in hysterics with his antics (funny guy..no really). At 7pm we headed for a Block party (an organised street party where Carnaval Samba bands perform and then lead a procession down the streets). The streets were packed out, the music was good and the beer was flowing. Near the end of the night me and Shaun got separated from the rest of the group but continued the celebrations. Near the end of the night when we had quite obviously had enough beer Shaun decided to climb onto some railings of a building and dance and shake his thing in front of hundreds of Brazilians.

It was all going well and making the crowd laugh until he started wiggling his arse about which is when people started pelting him (and me below) with beer cans. The crowd was getting angry so dragging him off we dashed away as quickly as possible and jumped on a bus out of there. We later discovered that the building he'd climbed was a national monument which would explain their anger and the chanting of 'Monumento!!!!'.

Waking up late with a rotten head I stayed around the hostel and organised a day at a Brazilian league game. I've always wanted to catch a Brazilian team live and this was my chance. So at 3pm me and a group of 12 of us headed to the Macarena stadium to watch Botafogo play Vasco De Gamma. Catching the Metro we were caught up in the excitement of local supporters singing and chanting (drums as well) to which we all joined in. Some really catchy tunes being sung. Arrived at the stadium and bought some bargain tickets for $10 and I entered the magnificent place. It was abuzz with activity as the first game of the day was being played (B team). Beer was flowing as the beer sellers walked around and the mood was getting more and more electric.

The chants and terrace songs from the opposing supporters were getting louder and more catchy as classics were being sung (so I was told by a local Botafogo fan). Our seats were by the halfway line..well good position but we all looked longingly at the home and away sections at the top (fireworks, flags, singing and mayhem. Later found out for an extra $5 I could have gone there). Kickoff was at 5pm and the play was smooth and skillful right from the start.

As with most good games the time went really quickly and before I knew it the 90 minutes were up. It ended as Bota 3, Vasco 2 with a sending off. The atmosphere was electric as fans went mental all the time. Interestingly there was a mix of fans everywhere and no sign of trouble (well, during the game anyway). The skills on the pitch were as to be expected...awesome. Shaun acted the goat as usual and ripped a top off a Bota fan (all good natured) but then refused to give it back at the end stating that it was a gift. In the end we left him because he refused to budge.

On the way back our group was buying the metro tickets and just as one of the girls went to the bathroom we heard a gunshot and people running everywhere. Some injured police were running up the stairs from the platform. It seems a fellah had run out of the metro car and fired a shot. If the girl in our group hadn't gone for a pee we may have been caught up in the bloody thing.

The metro ride back was a bit tense but we arrived safely back at the hostel and continued the drinking there telling everyone our tales of gunshots and football. Danced around the hostel a bit then collapsed in bed. Top, top night had by all.

Well, happy birthday to me. Woke up feeling rough but while I was drinking my morning tea I was generously given a rendition of happy birthday by the whole hostel in the outside terrace (such a nice touch). Also, the strange creature of the hostel known as 'my Precious' (from LOTR) caught me laughing about something and got paranoid. He then started poking me in the shoulder muttering 'Precious will kill you' (funny guy...I laughed at him).

Most of the day was spent recovering (that's a regular occurrence during Carnaval) and apart from a short trip to the beach I didn't do much else all day except check emails. The main event for tonight was Sambadrome pt.2 but as the evening wore on and I drank more and more beer I fancied going to a club instead. I was joined by Surekha, Krina and Jorge as we had a boogy for the night. The music wasn't great but I was pretty much too lashed up to care. The club itself turned out to be a kind of Brothel disco for elderly desperado's (a bit embarrassing at times but good fun anyway). Had a really great birthday all round and even better than that I had one of the best weeks ever during this whole Carnaval week. I've never had a week of drink, fun and frolicking like it in my life...loved every minute of it. Sadly tomorrow is my last day on this fabulous city.

Recovery day as I headed to Copacobana beach with Will and chilled there all day. Loads of gorgeous girls here as well so no time for sleeping. Not easy to relax here as touts and sellers roam the beaches and harass you every 2 minutes but after a while you develop the skill of ignoring and saying no with your eyes closed. After frazzling in the hot sun it was time for one of the main events of the Carnaval...the Sambadrome.

This is where the main Samba schools have their processions. Tickets were a hefty $30 but as I was to find out later on, worth every penny. Caught a cab to the dome (brightly lit up even from a distance and the place is really huge) and sat down for the 8 hours of drinking, dancing and astonishing parade watching. The floats and costumes passing down the middle of the dome were truly amazing and very weird in some cases. Each school float and procession would last 80 minutes so there was pretty much always music playing for dancing goodness. The colours were absolutely amazing and the imagination and time gone into each just hard to fathom. Some of the floats were themed as follows; animals (one had a huge bird, tiger, penguins), Oriental (having lucky white cat (I think its a Japanese thing), Sony Robot and space manga) to name but a few.

The crowds were really friendly and dancing non stop all night (even when the heavens opened). After each procession some of the dancers would come and sell their head dress for the pittance of $2.50 to anyone interested. We bought quite a few. Every Samba School had its own Samba tune (written by someone especially) to which everyone, including me would clap and sing along to (yes, I knew most of the Samba's because our hostel had played most of them all day long to get us acquainted with them).

Over the whole night had a long chat with Surekha (nice girl from Birmingham, her nice mate Krina, a cool dude from France called Dongey and a cute Colombian girl (I think she was quite fascinated with my enthusiasm for Colombia). The only downer for the night was that two people from our group had their cameras nicked by nifty pickpockets as they went to the toilet (right in front of them).

Today's daytime activity was a Favella tour. Favella's are the slum areas around the major Brazilian cities (well, in theory they are all around South America). A strange concept this Favella tour but since the film City of God people really want to see what it's like to live in one. Half the proceeds of the tours go to the Favella community so everyone wins. The Favella Rohcina is the biggest in South America and is bunched up on the slopes of a big hill on the outskirts of town.

It houses 200,000 people and is run by the gang RG (can't remember what it stands for). First was a hair raising bike taxi ride up the hill followed by 2 hours of walking around the really rank smelling narrow streets. The people were pretty friendly as we trotted along in their streets but they did look poor indeed. Met quite a few dodgy looking characters along the way including gangs of youths having a puff. Shaun nearly got himself into serious trouble by making an attempt at snapping someone who happened to be standing in front of a gang member. The guy shouted 'no photo!' and walked towards us to which we immediately scampered off.

There was then an impromptu street performance by a group of kids on drums (cans, buckets and metal plates). Really awesome to see. Later on it was time for beer and everyone headed to another Block Party (me, Shaun, Surekha and Krina and loads of others). This one was a monster just down the road from Ipanema. It was absolutely rammed with people dancing in the street and being merry.

At first it was quite intimidating (even a trained since childhood Notting Hill Carnivaller was awed). Some weird masks and costumes everywhere and loads of girls wearing skimpy gear (what a sight to behold). Met and chatted to loads of different people from different countries and had what I would state as being a wicked night. It ended with some more drinks back at the hostel and prancing around all night.

My last day today and on waking up realised that I had been to Rio for a week but haven't even seen the Mountain with Christ. So off I headed with two reluctant girls Surekha and Krina) catching a cab to the tram that rides up the mountain. The statue was much bigger than I expected, so well impressive. The view was nice but not amazing because it was overcast and rainy. Back at the hostel El Misti I made the decision to go to a Place called Ilya Grande (a beautiful beach island south of Rio) for a few days rest.

This last week really has been non stop drinking and mindless dancing (well, my Samba must have looked mindless...but I kept reminding people I had no formal training). I've been on the piss pretty much every day from lunchtime so a chill and detox was in order (in fact writing this and last weeks blog has only been possible after the end of the festivities and has caused me to lose a few of my valuable hairs trying to remember what happened...and when it did. Also, there was a virus going around which is rapidly spreading through the confined and dirty hostel that is the Misti. Everyone's coughing, sneezing, feverish and tired (of course the drinking load didn't help).

A word about my home for this last week. El Misti is the best hostel I've stayed in as regards to the crowd there and atmosphere (there was such a good crowd of people and everyone got on. There was none of that stupid gang and group mentalility...but..it is the worst one as far as organisation, hygiene, space (I was in a 12 bed dorm the size of a single room) and value for money and getting sleep was concerned. The bunk bed above mine had some support slats missing (making the poor fellah in the bunk above me, Goose's back arch like a hunchback's) so I have dubbed our room the Great Escape room. But really, I didn't give a monkey's arse at the time because...well, I was in Rio and was enjoying a wicked Carnaval).

Said my goodbyes to most of the hostellers (was especially sad to say ta ta to Shaun who is one of those larger than life characters and was most definitely the life of each and every party....top bloke, Claudette, Will and the young English group from the Great Escape room) and staff (Marianna and Carolina) and headed to the bus terminal with Surekha and Krina. There caught a bus to a small port town ready for the boat to the Island.

Was very depressed sitting on the bus as I pondered leaving such a beautiful city and such a great week. It's very addictive...could have stayed for months (mind you my bank balance wouldn't have). Stayed overnight in town as the next ferry wasn't until the morning. Had my first proper nights sleep in a long, long time. What joy to sleep in a bed that doesn't threaten to collapse and kill you in your sleep.

A late wake up this morning and everyone nearly missed the only boat leaving to the island at 8am. Had a beautiful 1.5 hour ride around stunning islands and coves and eventually arrived at the beautiful Ilya Grande. Although me and the girls spent the next 2 hours desperately trying to find a hotel within budget we eventually hit the jackpot when an old woman approached Surekha (sitting on a bench waiting for me and Krina to come back from the hunt) and offered a really nice room with garden and chilling area for $20 each.

As we settled in the room I was ribbed endlessly by the girls because it seems the two elderly hotel owner ladies had a soft spot for me and flirted with me shamelessly (well, they're only human). The afternoon was spent walking around the pretty quiet beaches and a spot of swimming. There are quite a few locals here now, most of them getting away from the Carnaval in Rio. A quiet dinner and early night was had by all as recovery and sleep was needed.

What a sleep I had last night. Woke up to bright blue sky and a bright sun (something I forgot to mention was the weather in Rio was pants for most of the time. After the first few days it rained nearly every day). First mission of the day was to find a bike rental place. Mission failed as apparently roads are crap. Second plan was just to walk to a beautiful beach. This was no problem whatsoever as there are great beaches everywhere. So me and the girls walked 30 minutes through some pretty tropical jungle and plotted for some swimming and sunning. Water was crystal clear and the sun boiling hot (this combination had the usual repercussions of me getting frazzled...never learn).

After a spot of lunch and siesta it was time to meet some Rio stragglers that had just turned up at the island. Had a few beers and chatted to Helen (most of the talk was about El Misti, Rio and Shaun). The plan for the next week is leave the island tomorrow and head to the apparently amazing Iguazu Falls on the border with Argentina. Spend a few days on both sides then head to Buenos Aires.